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 Ewoks and Care Bears


Chapter 3

A dozen males had appeared...according to Red the males and the females lived in separate areas, although they labored together to see that basic, daily needs were met. The males hunted, accompanied often by females who enjoyed the activity. The females tended small gardens. Casey suggested that an agricultural specialist, or at least someone with extensive knowledge about gardens and small crops, should visit the village, and perhaps offer a way to produce more food for the group.

It seemed, however, that the males and females were all too closely related to be able to procreate with any hope of producing healthy, fertile off-spring. Had the team not arrived, had Colonel O'Neill not arrived, Red informed them, their small group would have had little hope of survival. The influx of new DNA would allow them to produce children capable of bearing sons and daughters for the Furlings. Jack had not been as amused, nor honored, as Daniel insisted he should be.

Jack had tried to sit down next to Carter, only to be so surrounded by purple-hued females that he couldn't even see her for all the furry bodies near him. It didn't help the situation when he looked over to see Daniel, Casey, and Teal'c grinning broadly at him.

Nor did he lack for food or...whatever the stuff that they continued to fill a wooden cup with actually was. It wasn't bad. Sort of tasted like scotch. Which, Jack thought, probably wasn't such a good idea. If he got drunk, these very...excited...females would no doubt take advantage of the fact that he was too drunk to fight them off. While part of his ego was stoked to be so sought after...damn it to hell, why couldn't these females have been like the women on...what the hell was that planet? Nearly a dozen of them had wanted Daniel. Who had, at the time, still been married to Sha're, and looking for her. The guy hadn't even taken one of those beauties into any of the tents set up to offer privacy to the couples that came together during the celebration of...celebration...what the hell had they been celebrating?

He shook his head mentally. Didn't matter. Now those were some beautiful women! And he still thought Daniel was an idiot for not at least getting a bit of relief from what had to be the worst case of blue balls known to man! Yep, those women had been gorgeous. If these furballs looked like that, well, he'd just send a note to General Hammond requesting a month or two of leave time, and he'd...Wait a minute...what in the hell am I thinking? He began to frantically search for Sam.

Sam settled down beside Casey at that moment. Looked over at him. He wasn't sure whether she was pissed, or laughing. Probably both. Oh, he was in so much trouble!

When the sound of drums began to fill the air, the females began to dance around the fire. Which thankfully left him alone...mostly.

"So, enjoying the party?" Daniel asked, smirking at his best friend.

"You're a laugh a minute," Jack replied.

"Just relax, Jack," the archaeologist said. "As soon as we can get away, we'll head to the 'gate, get General Hammond's signature and the president's approval on the treaty, get the treaty items together, and be back here in a couple of hours. Tops."

"If you're not, I will shoot you," Jack warned.

Daniel snickered. "Right. If we're not back before these um...ladies...lose control, you won't be in any shape to do much of anything but sleep."

"I hate you," Jack snarled once again.

The snickers became chuckles. "I'll remind you of this the next time you're laughing at me," Daniel replied.

Yes, you will, Jack thought grumpily. And shifted again to try and get a bit of breathing space.

Red approached Jack, glanced over at Daniel. "We would be honored if you would join us," she said softly, pointing toward the dancing females.

Daniel translated. Jack's eyes went wide. "Uh...yeah, thanks...but I'm a lousy dancer."

Once again Daniel played the part of the translator. The squeals of delight given by the females around him, who jumped to their feet, tugged him to his, let him know that Daniel had not given a polite refusal. Jack fumed silently. He was going to learn to speak Goa'uld, and he wasn't going to tell that rotten, no-good linguist...scientist; and the next time something like this happened, he'd be able to get himself out of it! 

The leader of the Furlings turned to face Daniel, then smiled at Casey and Sam. "If you wish to take the treaty to your leaders, we will sign the document that Keeper-of-all-Records has created, and you may be on your way."

Casey and Daniel exchanged glances. They assumed that the long name referred to the blue Furling who had served as co-negotiator. And it seemed that the Furlings were awfully anxious to get rid of them. "That's acceptable," Casey replied, noting Daniel's subtle nod. "Teal'c will remain-"

"Oh, no, we couldn't allow Major Carter's mate to remain without her," Red interrupted.

"Oh, but Teal'c and Sam aren't-"

"I'm sorry, mated couples are not to be separated. It is against our...beliefs. Our laws are written to protect those who are mated."

"Well, then Sam could-"

"No, she is the second-in-command, is she not? It is her duty to report to your leaders."

"Then Daniel and I-"

"There is no need for you to worry, Young One," Red smiled. "Ker-nah-al Oh-neh-al is our honored guest. His safety is our utmost concern. He will be safe here, I assure you."

"It's not his safety I'm worried about," Casey replied drolly.

Red's smile faltered. "I do not understand."

"Just promise me that there won't be any...DNA sampling...until we return," Casey said, hoping to have bought at least a few hours to figure a way to get Jack out of the clutches of a camp full of very, very purple females.

Red turned to look at the Tau'ri male, who was hopping and jumping with the other females, doing what they were doing in an effort to appease them. She turned back to the young seer. "That is not for you, nor I to decide," she said.

"It's Jack's choice?" Daniel asked hopefully.

"Not exactly," Red said, avoiding their intense gazes. "When She-Who-Speaks-With-the-Gods determines that the time is...right...the courting will begin."

Daniel frowned. It seemed odd that a group from such an advanced civilization would resort to such...primitive...ceremonies and rites. Something that Red had said earlier, about the Goa'uld nearly destroying the Furlings...

He glanced at the men who continued to beat the drums, the group who seemed to be drinking together, watching the festivities with amusement. Had they been so long away from their cities, their planets, their technology, that it had all been forgotten? Given that it had been hundreds of thousands of years since the First Four had made contact, that really was a possibility. How long had the Furlings been living...hiding...in forests? Just how long ago had the Goa'uld attacked them...nearly destroyed them?

"Unless I'm given a guarantee that Jack won't be...molested," Casey said, her voice firm, "I'm not signing anything."

That's my girl, Daniel thought. Don't let Red bully you.

Red gasped. "Never would he be treated in such a way! His pleasure would be our foremost concern!"

Well that was comforting, Casey brooded. "Sorry. There is no way I'll agree to this. Jack has to be awake, and...alone...when we return."

The Furling tugged at her lower lip, worrying it between her teeth. "Very well. But once you have returned, with the signature of your leader on the treaty, we will expect it to be honored. To the letter."

"Agreed," Casey replied.

Daniel's frown deepened. Something about the wording of Red's acquiescence poked at him...there was a detail somewhere that they were missing. "I'll let Jack know we're leaving," Daniel said.

Casey nodded. "I'll tell Sam and Teal'c."

Daniel approached the bevy of fur-covered dancers, even in the shadowed light from the fire the deep plums and purples of their fur was evident. Jack practically ran to join him.


"We're on our way to the 'gate. Casey tried to get Red to let Teal'c stay. No dice."


"She did manage to get Red to agree that you're to be left alone...at least until we get back. Hopefully we'll be able to figure a way out of this. Unless you decide-"

"Get me the hell out of this, Daniel," Jack growled.

"Right. Couple of hours at the most," the archaeologist promised.

"I'm holding you to that!" Jack called after him.

Red hurried to the where Jack stood, what looked like a piece of parchment paper in her hands. Casey was right beside her. "As leader, you must sign this treaty."

Casey handed her pen to Jack. "Just sign it. We'll deal with the details as soon as we get back. We'll figure this out, I promise."

Radar had apparently written his name out already...Jack scratched his signature where Red pointed, in the space just above the printed letters.

Red signed her name, the cuneiform letters looking odd in contrast to the English of the treaty, although there was a second copy completely written in Furling beneath it. Apparently signatures weren't needed on it.

Casey signed, Sam signed, Blue put her name on the parchment, and with a flourish, Red handed the treaty to the young Tau'ri.

When Sam would have hugged Jack, half a dozen females stepped between them. None of them looked particularly friendly at the moment. "Casey, are you sure he'll be all right?"

"They need him healthy and happy," Casey replied. "I have Red's word."

"Let's hope her word is worth something," Sam frowned.


A  A  A  A  A  A


In an hour's time SG-1, sans Colonel Jack O'Neill, was walking down the ramp into the 'gate room. General Hammond was waiting to greet them.

"Major? Where is the colonel?"

"Well, sir..." Sam glanced at Daniel.

"We met the Furlings, sir," Daniel said.

"What? I thought you were going to examine ruins!" the general exclaimed.

"Yeah, so did I. The thing of it is, these Furlings are very...primitive. It seems the Goa'uld all but destroyed them. The group we met is in...well..."

"There are only a few of them, not more than fifty," Casey said. "And it seems that they're all too closely related to one another at this point...they can't produce healthy, fertile children..."

"The Furlings wish for all of their women to mate with O'Neill in order to expand their gene pool," Teal'c said, cutting to the heart of the matter.

The Marines who were standing down from alert stopped, looked back at the Jaffa. Several snickers were heard.

"Excuse me?" Hammond said, his eyes wide.

"It's true, sir. They want Jack's DNA. And um...they don't want it in a specimen bottle," Daniel replied.

"We have a treaty for mining the naquadah, sir," Sam said, offering the sheet of parchment to her CO. "They're only asking for basic supplies."

"Casey has suggested sending someone who can help them improve their gardening and farming techniques," Daniel added.

The general was examining the document...



"I see that you and Casey signed as negotiators," Hammond said, glancing up at Sam.

"Yes, sir. The Furlings have a matriarchal society. Daniel was the one who dealt with the initial greetings, and getting to know them. Red-" Sam started.


"The female leader of the Furlings...she had red fur."


"Yes, sir. The Furlings are..."

"Furry," Casey sighed. "Very furry. Very colorful fur. Well, it was."

"Something happened to change that?"

"Indeed. The females all turned various shades of purple as they became sexually aroused, due to O'Neill's presence," Teal'c said, once again dispensing with any unnecessary explanations.

"Say what?"

Daniel had moved to stand beside the general, and had been looking at the signed treaty carefully. He pointed to a smudged spot just above the neatly printed cuneiform that represented Red's impossible to pronounce name. "What's this?"

"What?" Casey asked.

"It looks as if something has been erased here."

"Let me see that!"

Casey and Sam both examined the parchment.

"She must have copied it!" Casey groaned. "That's what took her so long! I had printed his name, and Sam's and my name as well, further down on the page!"

"This is a problem."

"How so, Doctor?" General Hammond asked, frowning at the signatures.

"Jack's name...it's not with the signatories. It's part of the list. They've made him part of the treaty provisos!"

"I want a solution to this problem found immediately!" Hammond barked.

"Yes, sir!" Sam replied, torn between being furious, being terrified, and being amused.

"I'll contact the president, let him know that we have a treaty for mining the naquadah. I will also try to explain the final item of the list of demands."

"Sir, I have all of Doctor Littlefield's notes," Daniel said. "I know I remember something about treaties. I'm certain it was meant as a guideline for the First Four in their dealings with one another, but I might be able to find something to help us."

"Get on it, Doctor. Do you need help?"

"Might help to have Major Farnsworth and his team...they're savvy when it comes to treaties," the archaeologist replied.

"Very well. I'll send them to your office."

Daniel and Casey dashed out of the 'gate room, nearly throwing their weapons and packs at the supply sergeant who waited near the door, ready to check in the gear.




It took nearly twenty minutes to locate the carefully bound notes; the cloth of his diving suit, the only type of 'space suit' available at the time, that Professor Littlefield had used to cover the papyrus pages a faded orange now. That the man had been able to locate flax for the papyrus, had been able to make his own paper, had been nothing short of a miracle. Daniel supposed that given the amount of time the professor had been marooned there, he'd had more than an ample amount to perfect his papyrus-making skills.

He shook his head. Carefully removed the pages. He gave a handful to Casey. "You can read Ancient," he said, "so look for any Ancient references to treaties."

The call for the members of SG-9 had gone out while the two Jackson's had been in the elevator. They arrived in Daniel's office just minutes after the couple had.

"What's up, Daniel?" Major Farnsworth asked.

"Big problem, Major. The Furlings added Jack to the list of negotiated items. They were sneaky when they did it, and we signed the treaty without realizing what they had done," Daniel explained.

"Oh, that could be a problem," the major hissed.

Daniel had already divided up the remainder of Ernest Littlefield's notes. "All of you can recognize most of the Ancient alphabet. It's the precursor to Latin," he added, for the benefit of young Lieutenant Peters. "Just look for the words treaty or agreement."

He was handing out stacks of notes to the diplomatic team. When the lieutenant stepped forward, she tripped on the leg of Casey's desk, sending her forward onto Daniel's desk. She automatically put out her arms to break her fall, knocking the notes from the archaeologist's hands, and sending them fluttering in an arc of papyrus rain across the room.

"Peters, you're a walking disaster," Farnsworth growled.

The young woman's cheeks were blazing, her eyes filled with tears, and she turned and bolted from the room.

"She's nervous, Major, and your comments aren't helping," Casey said. She put her stack of notes down. "I'll be back."

"Casey-" Daniel started. They had limited time and she could read Ancient as well as he. They really needed to find a loophole that would save Jack's ass...or assets.

"I'll be back," Casey repeated. Firmly.

The men in the room began to gather the scattered papyrus sheets, not noticing that two had slid between Daniel's desk and the wall.


A  A  A  A  A  A


Jack had felt a moment or two...or ten...of absolute panic as he watched his team walking out of the village. As soon as they had been out of sight, the very...aroused...females around him began to get a bit more aggressive. Hands were touching him, groping him, and damn it they were making Big John stand at attention! He wasn't amused. When the first of his purple furred fans realized that fact, she began to make an odd purring sound. The hands that had been content to remain on the outside of his BDUs were suddenly more demanding.

"Wait just a damned minute here!" he said sharply, pulling his shirt back over his shoulders, trying to keep hold of his pants with the other hand. "Back off!"

His raised voice stopped the activity for a few moments. He looked over at Red, who should be called Purple now, he thought peevishly. "You gave your word!"

Even though she couldn't understand the words he spoke, the tone of voice, and the expression of his face told her all that she needed to know. Need was great, the time was right...all of the females were at their most fertile. It was tempting to ignore the promise she had made to Colonel O'Neill's teammates. It would take days for him to copulate with all of them, for she did understand that he would need to rest between each...gift...he bestowed upon the females. Their window of fertility didn't last longer than the end of the week...

She shook her head slightly. "Ker-nah-al Oh-neh-al will be taken to his hut. And he will be left alone, until the return of his friends."

The air filled with the sounds of growling. Well this isn't good, Jack thought. He was relieved when four very large males walked toward him, and the females began to back away. Surrounded by the hunter/warriors, he was led to a small hut.

The only thing inside the hut was a large bed. Well, what looked like a very comfortable mattress of some sort on the bare, dirt floor. The male who led him inside actually smiled at him...if the lifting of his upper lip and baring his teeth could be considered a smile. Jack dropped onto the mattress, stared out the open door at the females who stood as near to the structure as they were allowed. This was one hell of a dilemma.

He was nearly asleep when it felt as if someone was shaking the hell out of him. He jerked awake, looked around. Okay, nobody there. His admirers were still watching, most of them were sitting now, however. He frowned. Either there had been a earthquake, and since his...hosts - hostesses?...weren't reacting as if anything was out of the ordinary, that didn't seem likely; or his own sense of self-preservation was working overtime. Either way, he was awake. And planned to stay that way.

Heart pounding against his ribs, he watched. And waited. "Danny, get me out of this," he mumbled beneath his breath.


A  A  A  A  A  A


One hour and thirty minutes. Casey glanced at the clock. Sam had already stopped by to inform her and Daniel that the goods negotiated for were ready and waiting in the 'gate room. One of the MALPs, with an eight-wheeled 'sled' attached, was ready to deliver the items to the Furling village.

Daniel tossed down the last sheet of his notes. "Unless I've completely lost my mind and my memory, the section we've been looking for is missing. I know there were two full pages that dealt with the rules governing trade and treaties. The order of negotiating, who was acceptable, who wasn't. But it's not here."

"Sir, maybe we've just been trying to look too quickly," Sergeant Wayne Chamberlain suggested. While the young man had barely managed to finish high school, his ability to learn languages had placed him on a short list once he had entered the Air Force. When that ability had come to the attention of those staffing the SGC, the young Ohio native had been quickly 'recruited' to work in the secret facility.

He sighed. "We don't have much time," Daniel said quietly. "Okay, let's look again."

Each of the group, SG-9, Daniel and Casey, picked up their individual sheaf's of notes and once again began looking for the trading protocols that the First Four had developed. It was their only hope in getting Jack out of a situation that never should have occurred. Casey was berating herself for not noticing the subtle, but meaningful change in the document that had been drawn up before the signatures had been added.

"Excuse me, sir," Lieutenant Peters said, tapping Major Farnsworth on the arm. The result of which was the papers in his hand cascading to the floor. She cringed visually as the man scooped them up, then frowned at her.

"What?" Farnsworth snapped.

Young Alison Peters glanced at Casey. Who gave her an encouraging smile. "If General Hammond, as this world's leader, hasn't signed the treaty, it's not actually a binding document. Not yet. We can't be held to the terms, and neither can the Furlings. And," she shrugged slightly, "their clause about forfeiting any produce or merchandise is nil, until we actually do the tests for the presence of naquadah."

Daniel's head shot up. "Lieutenant, you're a genius!"

"Could have used this information over an hour ago," Farnsworth grumped.

"Aren't you glad Alison thought of it?" Casey asked coolly, "Since none of the rest of us have? And we're more experienced at this sort of thing."

The major had the good sense to look sufficiently chagrined. "Good work, Peters."

The sergeant had bent down to pick up one of the papers the major had missed. Just happened to glance at the wall beside Daniel's desk as he sat back up. "Uh...Doctor Jackson, I think there's something behind your desk."

Daniel stood to his feet, nearly raced around the piece of furniture, colliding with Casey's shoulder as he did so, mumbling an absent apology. Sure enough, between the desk support and the wall were two sheets of papyrus. "Anyone want to call Ferretti?"

"Why?" Casey asked, voicing the question that had filled four other minds at the same time.

"Because I'm willing to bet what we need is on these two sheets." He carefully pulled the papyrus pages free. Gave them a quick glance. Then grinned from ear to ear. "Okay, let's see if there are any provisions for one party pulling a fast one on the other."


A  A  A  A  A  A


Jack was sitting with his back against the wall. Literally, and figuratively. Red, as Daniel had named her, had come into the small hut just long enough to inform him that the resident voodoo woman, or whatever she was called, had done her thing, and his time was running out. That message had been delivered using hand signals and drawing in the dirt. He recognized enough words of Goa'uld to understand that if Daniel and the team didn't get back pretty damned quick, he was going to have furry females lined up at the door, waiting for him to do the horizontal sheet shimmy with them. And apparently he had no say in the matter.

As much as he wanted to believe that he could refrain, he knew instinctively that his body would respond to any and all stimulation, regardless of what his mind wanted. He knew that it could happen. Daniel had been in the same position with Hathor.

He frowned slightly. Daniel had only spoken once about that invasion of the SGC. The night the archaeologist had shown up at his door a couple of weeks after the bitch had disappeared, drunk as a skunk.

He still battled his feelings of guilt about that as well. His best friend had been, for all intents and purposes, raped by that damned Goa'uld. It had been terrifying, Daniel had said. Just like Jack had been fighting off the effects of the chemical Hathor used to beguile and control men, Daniel had been doing the same. In the back of his mind, Daniel told Jack, he'd known. There was a level of sub-consciousness just aware enough of what was going on to be repulsed. But his body hadn't been under his control...the drug had rendered his conscious mind so susceptible to Hathor's suggestions, that he had believed he wanted to make love to her.

What had happened, Daniel said, was that as soon as he had...penetrated...the Goa'uld, she had stopped 'sending' the drug that kept him so complacent. She had, in fact, jabbed him in the neck with one of her rings. The result had been that Daniel's mind had cleared, for the most part. It had been necessary, the men had decided together, as they sat on the floor where Daniel had collapsed, in order for Daniel to be able to reach his climax quickly. Hathor had been fighting the clock. They didn't believe that the Goa'uld suspected that the women of the SGC were breaking free. But she had been in a damned hurry to get her spawn of evil created. They'd never determined just why that was.

Hathor had been known as the goddess of love and fertility. She'd known how to touch, how to caress the young man's body, to keep him aroused...and thrusting...in spite of what his mind was screaming for him to do. Daniel had said he wanted to flee the room, and shower for hours, to cleanse the touch of the Goa'uld from his skin. He had reached his climax, giving the bitch exactly what she had been after. And then she had bitten his shoulder, drawing blood, licking the wound clean. That, they had just recently learned, had been because Daniel had been sterile at the time, something that apparently Hathor hadn't known until she had his semen inside her. Jack had no clue how the snake had figured it out so quickly. She had managed to get the DNA she wanted from Daniel. And had traumatized him to his very soul in doing so.

Sam had reported that Daniel had been catatonic when she'd found him in his quarters. No shit, Jack thought. Weren't all rape victims traumatized? Well, most of the time. He'd served a stint with the Military Police as part of his training for Special Ops. He could remember, in detail, the five times the MP's had been called to the scene of a rape. Only once had the perpetrator been in the military. The other four times, Air Force officers, young women still in training, had been the victims. And of those four times, not once had the victim been able to coherently respond to their questions.

He heaved a sigh. Like it or not, if the team wasn't back when the moon reached the tops of the trees, he was going to be giving it up. Come on, Daniel, figure it out, he thought desperately. Get me out of here!

His eyes drifted to that open door. It looked as if the purple-furred creatures had moved closer. Damned if it didn't look like their eyes were glowing...just a bit. He shuddered slightly. Pulled his legs up to his chest. He'd heard stories...had no clue now just where or when he had first heard them...that Amazon warriors, when they had captured a suitable man, literally fucked him to death. Now, in his younger days, he'd thought that would be a damned pleasant way to go. Sitting in that hut, facing the potential reality of the situation, it wasn't nearly as appealing.

He was certain that the pheromones, hormones...whatever type of 'moans' had filled the air of that building...had given him his complacent attitude during the negotiations. It hadn't been until he'd left it, been outside, that things had taken on a much more serious, and sinister, appearance.

Not, he admitted with another sigh, that he'd been hurt. Or even insulted. There had been a feast with plenty of food...and it hadn't been bad at all. The moonshine had a nice kick, but he'd been careful not to drink too much. He had noted that Daniel hadn't taken more than a sip of the stuff. Couldn't help but grin. Such a lightweight when it came to drinking. Hell, Casey could drink Daniel under the table. Not that it took much. But he was one hell of a good man, that Doctor Daniel Jackson. And he'd better be working on a way to get him the hell out of this hut and through that gate with his dignity and DNA fully intact!


A  A  A  A  A  A


"General, I think we've found something," Daniel announced, leading his teammates and the members of SG-9 into the commander's office.

"Glad to hear it, Doctor Jackson. What have you got?"

"Well, until you, as the designated and accepted leader of our world sign this treaty...it doesn't actually go into effect. It would mean giving up the mining rights-"

"Which won't make the Pentagon happy," Sam tossed in.

"But it would allow us to get Jack home."

The general frowned. "Doctor, from what Major Carter tells me, there's a significant amount of naquadah in the hills near this village. I don't know how willing the Pentagon, or the president, are going to be in giving up this opportunity."

"They'd rather prostitute Jack?" Daniel asked incredulously.

"For some of the men involved, they wouldn't care at all," General Hammond admitted. "I personally will not sit by and let anything like that happen to anyone under my command."

"But you might not have any say in the matter," Casey sighed.

"Exactly." The general frowned, drummed his fingers on the table. "Is there a chance that these...Furlings...would accept DNA samples in some other form?"

"Sir?" Daniel asked, his puzzled frown matching that of his CO's.

"If there was a way to have Doctor Fraiser...administer...samples collected from one of the nearby sperm banks, it would give the Furlings exactly what they're after. It might even be more acceptable, as they would have several samples rather than just one," the general said.

"Why didn't we think of this?" Sam asked quietly.

General Hammond smiled. "You've been busy with other matters. Sometimes, a fresh perspective, someone looking at the problem from the outside, can make a difference."

"We can ask," Daniel said. "If Janet went with us, she might be able to convince them that this is a much better idea than just...um...well...collecting...from one man."

"Go. Take the trade goods. Let them know that we're operating in good faith."

"And if they refuse?" the archaeologist inquired.

"No more than what they asked for, I don't think we'll miss any of it," the general replied quietly.

Daniel smiled. "Thank you, sir."

"Better hurry, SG-1. Before those...uh...ladies...get tired of waiting."

"Yes, sir!"

The general bit back his chuckle when Casey tossed a salute every bit as good as the one he received from Major Carter. "Major," he said, looking up at the leader of SG-9, "I want you to work on a contingency plan. Just in case something goes wrong."

"Yes, sir," Farnsworth replied. "Let's go team."

Alison moved slowly toward the door. "We could always tell the Furlings that copulation outside of our...species...isn't allowed. Religious reasons or something," she said softly.

"A very good idea, lieutenant," General Hammond smiled. "Major, be sure to take that into consideration."

Major Farnsworth nodded, studied the young woman for a moment. What had Mrs. J said...something about the lieutenant being nervous? "Come on, Peters. Let's put that on the top of the list. It's probably our best bet."

The young woman beamed a smile at him. And then tripped over the chair in front of the general's desk, landing in an ungainly heap on the floor.

The Major helped her to her feet. "Come on, Felger," he muttered under his breath.


A  A  A  A  A  A


Casey had raced to the infirmary to tell Janet about the situation. "Janet, we need your help!" she said breathlessly.


"We found Furlings along with the ruins and they think Jack isn't attached romantically or sexually to anyone because Sam was walking with Teal'c and of course with Daniel and I it's sort of obvious and they want him to make all of the females in their village preggers and they aren't going to let him go until he's done the deed with them," Casey replied in her 'get-it-all-out-in-one-breath' manner.

"You have to be kidding!" Janet exclaimed. She looked around the seer's shoulder, expecting to see the rest of the team in the hallway, rolling with laughter over the practical joke. There wasn't anyone there.

"Janet, you have to convince them that using multiple samples from a sperm bank is a better idea! Otherwise they could...they could...they could boff Jack to death!"

The petite doctor's brown eyes couldn't get any wider. "You're serious!"

"Yes, I'm serious," Casey declared. "We have to go...now! Jack's almost out of time!"

Janet dashed into her office, didn't even bother closing the blinds as she pulled off the skirt and blouse of her uniform, reaching for the BDU she kept in a locker nearby, for just such an emergency. Three minutes later, her medical bag in hand, she ran behind Casey to the elevator. Both women arrived in the 'gate room, breathless but ready to walk through the Stargate.

"This is it. We get once chance at this," Sam said softly.

"We'll bring him home, safe and sound and completely untouched," Casey replied.

"You're sure?" Sam asked immediately, hope filling her eyes.

"Hey, we're SG-1. That good luck has to kick in sometime!" the seer grinned.


A  A  A  A  A  A


Jack could see the moon now. Another five minutes, he figured. Then it would be touching the trees. And he'd be the recipient of a shitload of touching. Lots of touching. Oy, this is so not good!

There was a sudden commotion...the females were looking toward the center of the village again. Several of them appeared to be using the distraction to move toward the hut. Thankfully the two big Ewok-looking guys beside the door were able to keep them from slipping inside. He was on his feet, prepared to defend himself if need be. He didn't believe in hitting women. But if these...females...didn't take the hint that he wasn't interested, he'd do what he had to do.


He nearly collapsed with relief. "Daniel?"

"Are you okay?"

"For a few more minutes."

Daniel frowned at the hut from where Jack's voice had come from. "What happens in a few minutes?" He turned to Red, who stood watching him with a mixture of surprise and disappointment on her face. "What happens in a few minutes?"

Red looked over her shoulder at the trees. "She-Who-Speaks-With-the-Gods has determined that when the moon touches those trees, the first female must begin her courting."

Daniel shook his head. "We can't let that happen."

Janet looked around with interest, and a bit of amusement. She wasn't an expert on alien expressions, but there seemed to be a lot of disappointment on the facial features of the nearby females. "Daniel, tell her about the offer of more DNA samples, that we can work with them, and will do our best to insure that all of the females become pregnant. There will be a wider variety of DNA available if they'll let Colonel O'Neill go."

With a nod, Daniel repeated what Janet had said, explaining who the petite woman was, and about the abundance of DNA in the frozen samples that had been given willingly by numerous men.

"They are fertile, now," Red insisted. "They must be...given the gift...now!"

"Janet, how long to get the samples, and then get...well...to uh...do-" Daniel's cheeks turned red, which thankfully, he thought, wasn't noticeable in the moonlight.

She pursed her lips, frowned in concentration. "There's a sperm bank on Tutt Boulevard in Colorado Springs. I could have one of my corpsman on the way there while I make a phone call...I'm certain General Hammond would be able to expedite the process...back here in probably an hour and a half. Then it would take..." she paused and began to count. "At least two hours to inject each of these females."

Daniel nodded. Turned to the nervous leader of the Furlings. "We can have all of the...the 'gift' can be given to all of the females here in about four hours. Four and a half hours from now, they would be...they would have received the gift."

Red's eyes went wide. "All of us?"

Daniel smiled. "All of you."

"Danny! Hey, Danny! What the hell is going on out there?" Jack called.

Red hesitated. It was not the way of the Furlings. Would the Gods be offended if the 'gift' was given in such a way? Even if only half, or even a third, of the females were given the gift, and conceived...

"It is time," one of the older females said. She totally ignored SG-1. Took the closest female to the hut by the hand, led her to the door. She muttered an incantation as she walked.

Jack could see the two approaching. "Daniel! Get me the hell outta here!"

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