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Ewoks and Care Bears
The shout echoed around the room. Jack was on his feet, every person in the room staring at him. He looked down to see Sam smirking beside him. "Sorry, sir. You were muttering in your sleep."
"Jack, you're second-in-command. I can't 'get you the hell outta here'," Daniel added, his cheek twitching as he fought his own smile.
Dr. Felger, who had been giving a rather long, detailed report on his study of one of the Goa'uld computer consoles that had been salvaged from a downed ship, and the consequent information regarding the power crystals used, was shuffling through his notes. "Needless to say what we've learned has been very interesting, and we're not even close to understanding just how the crystals are designed or how the data is inscribed into them. That's all I have." He scurried to his chair.
Jack leaned over to talk to Sam. "What happened?"
"You fell asleep, boss," Casey grinned, from her place beside her best friend. "Sam has been trying for the past twenty minutes to wake you up. She almost shook you out of your chair, but you just started snoring."
Twenty minutes? He looked around the room. Stepped up to the lectern. "Are there any more reports that just absolutely cannot wait until next week?"
Major Ferretti snickered. Two of the other majors began coughing, although the sounds were suspiciously similar to chuckles.
Heads moved back and forth. "Good. Meeting adjourned." Jack dropped back into his chair, covered his face with his hands.
"Don't worry, sir, I don't think anyone took personal offense," Sam said.
"I don't care about that," Jack said. He held his hands out. They were still shaking slightly.
"Must have been some dream," Daniel said.
"Furlings. They were Furlings."
"What? Where? Was it like being on the astral-" the archaeologist started.
"Mission. We were on a mission to look at some ruins, and find out just how much naquadah was in the hills nearby," Jack said.
Daniel and Sam exchanged grinning glances. They had both given reports on just such a planet. One that they both hoped to visit. "What happened?"
"The males...had this whole Ewok thing going on. Had the bear-like faces, honkin' big bows and arrows. The females...not so bad...nice boobs-" His ears turned red, and he pretended not to hear Casey's snort of laughter. "They were covered with fur...all different colors, with tattoos on their stomachs. But when they-"
"When they what?" Daniel asked, not even attempting to hold back his laughter.
"They all turned purple...or some various shade of purple."
"Why did this change occur?" Teal'c asked.
"They were...uh...well...they were...overcome...they were..."
"Spit it out, boss," Casey giggled. "What were they, turned on?"
"You could say that."
The peals of laughter that surrounded him brought more color to his face.
"It wasn't funny! They were holding me prisoner because they wanted my DNA, and Daniel was taking his sweet-assed time finding a way out of it!"
By now not one of his teammates was capable of speech. Even Teal'c had lowered his head, his booming laugh echoing in the room.
Daniel wiped his eyes. "What on earth made you think they'd be covered with fur?"
"That's just an approximate pronunciation in our language," Daniel said, shaking his head. "It has nothing to do with actual fur."
"So tell me, boss, how long have you had this secret desire to do it with a Care Bear?" Casey managed to ask. Sam nearly fell out of her chair as she laughed.
"Oh, ha ha! You are so funny!" Jack rose to his feet. Strode towards the door. "I'm going for coffee."
"Need a cigarette, too?" Casey called after him.
Daniel howled with laughter, Teal'c had buried his face in his folded arms, which were on the table in front of him.
It took nearly five minutes for the teammates to have enough control over themselves to leave the briefing room. They found Jack in the commissary, sitting at 'their' table, a cup of coffee held between his hands. He was frowning into the black liquid that filled the cup.
"Jack?" Daniel asked, settling down beside Casey.
Jack looked up. "Do you think it's possible that the Pentagon would really...prostitute...a team member, any team member...just for naquadah?"
Any thoughts of teasing died in the wake of the question. "God, I hope not!" Daniel replied.
"I'm betting there would be one or two who would see it as an acceptable...sacrifice...if enough naquadah was located," Casey retorted. "Greed knows no boundaries."
"Sad, but true," Sam nodded.
"Was that what happened to you in your dream?" Daniel asked.
"Huh? Oh, no. Janet had come up with a way...No. But it was a possibility," Jack responded. "I know that General Hammond certainly wouldn't do it. I sure as hell won't allow any of my team to be put in a position like that."
"Still, it is something we might need to consider," Sam mused. "If we stumble across a large enough deposit of ore, and the 'price' is...well...there are those in D.C. who would be willing to pay it."
"Not with my kids they won't," Jack declared. "If it ever comes to that, the bastards who want it so badly can do the deed themselves."
Casey smiled. "That would never happen."
Jack smiled in return. "Never can tell. We have Maybourne on our side."
"Harry?" Sam said, eyes wide with surprise.
"Yep. Trust me, he'd find the concept very...fitting. Bet he'd even be willing to help us shove them through the 'gate."
"Well, let's hope we never have to find out," Daniel said.
"Hear, hear!" Casey agreed, touching her coffee mug to his.
"Okay, so what did I miss?" Jack asked, his normal, cocky grin sliding into place.
"Felger. Don't need to say more," Casey muttered. Her teammates chuckled, and Sam offered the highlights of the report, just in case the general should ask.
A A A A A A
Perhaps it had been because of the very amusing and entertaining start to their day, Casey thought, but for a Monday, it hadn't been half bad. She and Jonas had managed to finish up two entries, and were halfway finished with the entry for Amaterasu. She hadn't made that much progress in weeks.
Daniel was nearly finished translating the text that had been found on twelve pillars. The Ancient was a dialect they had never encountered before, raising the question of whether or not there might have been more than one group of that particular civilization. What had been discovered on a deserted planet...or almost deserted planet...had given him the key to making those translations.
Pulling on her jeans and sweater, Casey dropped onto the bench in front of the lockers to pull on her boots. The soft sound of sniffling caught her attention. Putting her boots aside, she went in search of the source.
Lieutenant Alison Peters was sitting in the corner, on the floor, tears rolling down her face.
"Oh, honey, whatever it is, we can take care of it," Casey said softly, dropping down beside the young woman.
"I'm a klutz...a walking disaster...and Major Farnsworth hates me!"
That's where she remembered the young lieutenant from! Her very...unusual entrance to the morning briefing. Which had been hours ago, Casey noted with a frown. "What happened?"
"You mean after I made a fool of myself at the meeting this morning?"
She smiled. "It was an accident. Things like that happen."
"Especially when I'm around," Alison hiccupped.
"You know what I think?"
The dark head moved back and forth.
"I think you're overwhelmed. And frightened. Feeling out of your depth. And awed at everything you're learning. And...scared to death about what you're learning. I think the people here make you nervous, because they're heroes, and being around heroes is always difficult for us mere mortals."
Alison nodded slightly. "I wanted so much to make a good impression. I want...wanted...everyone to like me."
"Give them a few days to get to know you. They'll like you. Remember this. Every person in this mountain had a 'first day'. Granted, a few of them had that 'first day' together. But they all went through the same thing. When this program started, it was a handful of scientists, guarded by a handful of Air Force officers. Not too much to be impressed about. Then Daniel...er...Doctor Jackson...managed to decipher the cover stone for the Stargate. And then...everything changed. There are maybe thirty people here who were here at the very beginning. The others all came in after that."
"I'll bet none of them had days like mine!"
"Oh, please. What happened to you wasn't bad at all. Wait until you've made a reputation for yourself by chasing a bunch of Jaffa back through the 'gate and killing a Goa'uld during a lockdown situation."
"That would make you a hero!"
"Right. Some hero. I fainted as soon as it was over. I still get called 'Annie Oakley', and Ferretti runs betting pools on how many Goa'uld I'll shoot in the cahoonies every time we go on a mission!"
Alison giggled. "What does he do that for?"
"Well, there was this Goa'uld named Ares. Arrogant bastard. Wait...they're all that way. Okay, this guy was just a special kind of annoying..."
A A A A A A
Daniel raised his head when Casey came out of the locker room. "Fall asleep in there?"
"No. Just talking to a young lieutenant. Someone who needed to know that those who walk on water still trip on pebbles occasionally," Casey smile.
"Okay," he replied. "Gonna tell me about it?"
She slipped her hand into his hip pocket, felt his arm tighten around her shoulders. "Sure. Do you know, I had forgotten some of the really stupid things I've done since I got here. It's a wonder I survived. It's a wonder anyone around me survived!"
"Your first days here are nothing compared to mine!"
"Really? You think so?"
Arm in arm they headed for the elevator. For a Monday, it hadn't been bad at all.
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