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Let the Games Begin
Ba’al had made several threats against the Tau’ri in general and Gamma in particular, demanding the return of his Consort. In an attempt to distract him, Duncan and Jack had decided to ‘share’ some of the information that Casey and Sam had been able to obtain about him with several of the System Lords. As a result, Ba’al had disappeared, fled into hiding somewhere. He wasn’t gone, by any stretch of the imagination. But he wasn’t going to be able to proceed as quickly as he had. They had slowed him down, focused the System Lords on him. And had gotten him off of their doorstep. Daniel hoped that his disappearance would help end Casey’s nightmares.
There was also information about each of the System Lords already in the alliance that had formed against Anubis, which had stayed together because of Ba’al. It was enough to give them a definite edge in the war. The Tok’ra High Council had even sent her a letter of thanks and congratulations on the success of the mission. It was a joke among their friends when she framed it and hung it in the bathroom, directly above the toilet.
A A A A A A
Since moving to Gamma, Casey’s job had changed somewhat. She still led aerobics three mornings a week. But she spent more time in Daniel’s office, typing his notes, doing research, or filing reports for him. He and Sam each had a lab on the base, although now the majority of archaeological finds went into the new building had been built specifically for that purpose.
Today she was catching up on emails, tagging those that he needed to see, prioritizing them, dealing with the rest herself. Most were nothing more than notes to let him know the progress of several research projects. There were three with questions that needed to be answered as soon as possible, and five jokes, all of them funny. She looked up and smiled when he came in, carrying two mugs of coffee. She sipped hers gratefully when he handed it to her, then sat it on the desk beside her.
"Anything important?" he asked.
She nodded, and stood up. "I’ve got them flagged."
He sat down, put his mug on the desk and pulled her into his lap. "Okay, thanks babe. I have a list of artifacts I need brought over from the other building…could you take care of it for me? And don’t let them talk you out of any of it. I need every one of those pieces."
"Okay. On my way." She kissed him. "Wish the cameras were off right now," she whispered, just before she stood up and moved away. She smiled at him, waved, and sauntered out of the room.
He chuckled. He ran his hand over the top of the desk. Her body had been right here when he had taken her. His body was now responding…ardently…to that memory. Just as she had intended. He grinned. He’d get his revenge. He could take her to the cusp of orgasm, and keep her there as long as he wanted. That thought made him even harder. He turned the monitor towards him, grabbed the keyboard and started working. Eventually his body was back under his control.
A A A A A A
After dealing with the errand Daniel had sent her on, Casey stopped by Sam’s lab. "Hey, girlfriend!"
Sam looked up and grinned. "Hey yourself. What’s up?"
She shook her head. "Not much." She looked around the cluttered room. "What are you working on today?"
"New generator. It’s smaller than the last one, and hopefully just as powerful..."
She didn’t understand any of the technical details Sam gave as she explained, but she tried to follow along as best she could. Finally she held her hands up. "Okay, uncle!"
Sam grinned. "You asked."
"That’ll teach me, huh?" She giggled. Her smile didn’t last long, and a haunted look filled her eyes.
Sam’s grin faded. "Still having that nightmare?"
She nodded. "It’s not as bad now…I actually get away from him more often now."
"I don’t understand why Daniel can’t just go in and…"
Casey dropped her eyes. "I…can’t…let him see…that. It would tear him up," she said softly.
"Sweetie, he has a pretty good imagination. I’m sure he’s already had a nightmare or two of his own about the whole thing. You know as well as I do that Daniel is a strong man. It’s hurting him more to not be able to help you," Sam said gently. "Let him help you, Casey. For both your sakes."
"I’ll think about it," she replied. "I'd better get going, so I can tell him to expect his ‘rocks’," she said with a smile.
"Okay. Talk to you later," Sam said, a smile on her own face.
She turned over what Sam had said in her mind. Maybe she was right. She had caught him staring at her, a frown on his face, worry in his eyes several times. Every night her subconscious forced her to relive that ‘feast’, relive Ba’al waking up and taking her. Every night she fought to get away from him. But the Goa’uld refused to let her go.
She leaned against the wall in the corridor, closed her eyes. She could see his face above her, the love in reflected in his eyes, the smile on his lips. No, Ba’al hadn't raped her. He had made love to the woman he had chosen as his Consort, his Queen. Her body had responded to him. The worst part was, she had actually enjoyed flirting with him, enjoyed turning him on. He was a handsome man, and part of her had reacted to that. She felt guilty. Very guilty. He was a Goa’uld, but she had still led him on, lied to him. Yep, very guilty. That was what she didn’t want Daniel to see, to know.
She was quiet for the rest of the day, her thoughts in turmoil. She could feel his eyes on her as they made dinner. She bathed Emily, got her ready for bed, then they sat together on their bed, he held her while she held the baby. It had become a nightly routine, one that Emily seemed to enjoy as much as they did. The baby would reach toward his face, hold his finger in her little hand when he reached for her.
Daniel was working in the den. She knew he was busy, hated to bother him. She walked to the partially open door several times, hesitated, but didn’t enter.
A A A A A A
He could see her out of the corner of his eye. She had come to the door four other times, but still hadn’t come in. She wanted to talk to him, needed to talk to him, but something was holding her back. That something worried him. He heard her moving around in the living room, picking up toys, moving the walker out of the way. Enough of this. He was going to find out what was wrong. And she was not going to push him away. Even if he had to break down the door to the guest bedroom.
She was sitting on the sofa, her legs pulled tight against her chest, biting on her lower lip. She didn’t even hear him come into the room. She jumped, startled, when he sat down beside her.
He didn’t say anything, he simply pulled her to lean against him.
She snuggled into his embrace. "Daniel…"
He waited, his hand moving slowly up and down her back. "I’m here babe," he said finally.
"I…I’m afraid to let you see," she whispered after a long stretch of silence.
Tears filled her eyes, ran down her cheeks. "It was…when we were eating…I…" She shook her head. "I’m so afraid I’ll lose you," she whispered.
"Not going to happen, Angel. Nothing you can tell me…or show me…is going to make me turn away from you," he said softly. His heart was banging against his ribs. What could be so bad that she would fear losing him?
"It was fun turning him on, watching him…seeing what I was doing to him," she finally admitted, her voice a soft whisper. "He’s not bad looking…for a Goa’uld, and it was easy to flirt with him. The more I flirted, the more turned on he became…it was… well…it made me feel…I don’t know…sexy, I guess."
He grinned. He chuckled. He laughed out loud.
She sat up. "What’s so damn funny about that?"
"Oh, Angel, if this is what you’ve been afraid to tell me-"
She put a finger to his lips. "There’s more."
His heart stopped beating for an eternity, or at least that’s the way it felt. "I’m listening," he said.
"Daniel, he didn’t rape me. He was making love to me. His face…he was…I lied to him, Daniel! I hurt him, I really did! I didn’t mean to! I just feel so damn guilty! He never had a snowball’s chance in hell of me ever loving him…but he didn’t know that, I let him believe-" she broke off.
"Casey, you have the most incredible heart I’ve ever known," he said softly. "We’re talking about a freaking Goa’uld here!"
"I know," she whispered, her tears falling freely now. "But damn it, I never intended to hurt him! He wasn’t supposed to fall in love with me! Want me, yes…demand my body, yes…but not love me!"
He tightened his arms around her. "Oh, babe, is this what’s been bothering you? The fact that you managed to get a Goa’uld to fall in love with you? Proves they’re not any different from any other men."
"You don’t know the worst part yet," she replied.
"And that would be?"
"I…my heart and soul and mind were screaming for you…but…I…"
"Your body was responding?"
She blushed, and lowered her eyes.
"Angel, that’s just simple biology. Your scream told me you weren’t enjoying it."
"I wasn’t! I was so…I was horrified when he…when I got wet…I was…oh, god, it was awful! I didn’t want him to touch me!"
"I know, babe. I could hear it, feel it. You nearly scrubbed yourself raw afterwards." He shifted so that he was laying on the couch, pulled her to lay on top of him. "Casey, I don’t think you have to worry about the love thing. He might have been infatuated. But I seriously doubt that it was love."
"You didn’t see his eyes when he was on top of me," she replied.
Daniel didn’t want to think about that, didn’t want to envision Ba’al on top of his Wife, making love to her. Probably no more than she wanted to envision him on top of Neferteri. Had that Goa'uld bitch loved him? Maybe, as much as she was capable of love. Had he ever seen love in her eyes? He'd never looked into her eyes, not if he could avoid it. "Angel, don’t tear yourself up over this…over a Goa’uld. He might have loved you that night. But the first time you ‘displeased’ him, he would have had you beaten, or killed, without a second thought."
She turned this over in her mind. Somehow, in those few hours with him, she had seen a side of the Goa'uld that she had never experienced before, never suspected existed; a tender side, a passionate side. It had blind-sided her that he could be capable of such emotions. Daniel was right, he was still a Goa’uld, and they were the most sadistic, self-serving bunch that ever existed. His behavior for a few hours couldn’t erase all the terrible things he had done, would do again without blinking an eye.
She snuggled down into her husband’s embrace. She thought of Ba’al’s threat to destroy the Phoenix, and Earth. He cared only about what he wanted. The minute he grew bored with her…She leaned up and kissed his chin. "Thank you, my heart."
"You’re welcome, babe."
"I know you have work to do," she said softly.
He thought about the work that waited for him in the den. "It can wait."
"Are you sure?"
She kissed him, then stood up. When he was on his feet, she led him to the bedroom. With every gasp, every shiver, every whisper, she told him that she belonged only to him. He held her tightly, sure that the nightmare would not return tonight.
She was lying on her side, his body pressed against hers. She thought she heard Emily, listened for another minute. If the baby had cried out, she was quiet now. She snuggled back against him. She smiled, and slid her hand between them, caressed him.
"You’ll have to deal with that later," he whispered in her ear.
"Oh, I hope so," she replied. He pulled her close. Once again he had defeated the demons that haunted her soul. She closed her eyes and drifted back to sleep, safe in his love.
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