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To Elvis, Or Not To Elvis 


Chapter 7

Doctor Lee pushed his glasses up. Walked around the plant that was now exactly thirteen inches taller than it had been forty minutes prior. He glanced up at Simon Coombs. "We should see what a black light would do," he suggested. "If we can get this plant to produce fruit in a single day, my god the implications are mind-boggling! This thing really could stamp out world hunger!"

Coombs nodded his head excitedly, then pushed up his glasses as well. "If it's possible to graft the growth DNA from this plant to other food producing varieties, we could see the length of time needed to raise a full crop of, well…say corn, for example….go from weeks to hours! Farmers would have a constant supply of food!"

"They'd plant and harvest in the same day. They could even take the weekends off and still produce thousands of times more food than they do now!"

"Do you think we'll get a bonus for this?" Coombs asked hopefully.

"At the very least!" Having found the black light he knew he'd stored in the equipment locker, Lee lined up the two dozen smaller plants on the work table. With a bit of ingenuity, the two scientists had the light rigged to a stand, and shining directly down on the plants.

The scientists watched carefully. Were somewhat disappointed when nothing seemed to happen. "Maybe I should turn off the overheads," Lee said.

"Good idea."

Their white lab coats reflecting the black light with purple clarity, the two men stood and watched.

Five minutes.

Ten minutes.

Fifteen minutes.

"If something was going to happen, given how these things were growing earlier, it should have happened by now," Lee sighed.

"I agree."

Disappointment written on his face, Lee turned the overhead lights back on. Turned off the black light.

The sound of rustling leaves filled the room.

Coombs backed away from the table. "Did you see that?" he asked, wide-eyed.

"What?" Lee turned to look at the table. Three of the plants were waving slightly. Already two inches taller than they'd been a minute ago. Another plant began to grow visibly as the scientists watched. "Um…this is good, right?"

"You tell me," Coombs responded quickly.

Within five minutes, all of the plants were another six inches taller. The plants weren't only growing in height. Numerous shoots from near the roots of the plants had begun to creep over the sides of the containers.

"We may have a problem," Lee said, almost whispering.

"What problem?"

"The lights in the corridor are full spectrum."

"Yeah? So?"

"If they're growing that much under fluorescent, what will they do under full spectrum?"

"We may have a problem," Coombs sighed.

"You know they're going to blame us for this," Lee moaned.

"I know."




Daniel looked up from his place beside the pool. He, Jack, and Teal'c had decided that lounging around was just what they needed. Their significant others wouldn't be putting in appearances until it was time to take the limousine to the wedding chapel.

He frowned slightly when one of the men he'd seen sitting at the pool bar the day before entered the area…it wasn't his presence that had caught his attention, but the way the man kept glancing over his shoulder. Daniel's frown deepened when the man saw him, and the two made eye contact. The look of surprise on the man's face when he noticed Jack and Teal'c beside him made the entire episode even more curious.

"Danny, somethin' wrong?" Jack asked, noting the expression on the archaeologist's face.

"I dunno. That guy over there, just came in," Daniel said, pointing with his chin, "was sitting at the bar yesterday. Couldn't keep his eyes off Casey."

Jack snorted. "That's nothing new."

He couldn't help but smile. He was accustomed to the looks of appreciation, the stares of open interest, from men who watched his Wife. It happened every time they were out in public. "He seemed surprised to see me. I think he was a little unnerved to see you and Teal'c sitting here as well."

Jack watched the man for a moment, without appearing to do so. "Looks like a scumbag."

As if to validate Jack's assumption, two security guards appeared. There was a conversation between the three men, and then the guards were taking the man, each holding one of his arms, back toward the hotel.

"Yep, scumbag," Jack said, nodding slightly.

Daniel relaxed, laid back, and closed his eyes. And tried to imagine Casey in a sarong.




In the salon, the 'Three Musketeers' had indulged in manicures and pedicures, giggling like school girls over their choice of colors; Sam opting for soft pink, Janet choosing a deep red, and Casey finally deciding on rich plum. Fingernails and toenails glistening, they were ushered into another room and into reclining chairs. Within a matter of minutes the three were receiving facials, the smiles on their lips evidence of the relaxation they were feeling.

"Now this is living," Janet sighed contentedly.

"I so agree," Casey murmured. She took a moment to reflect on her life. Had it been just two short years ago that the idea of a manicure, a pedicure, or a facial…or even having her hair trimmed by a licensed beautician…was nothing more than a dream, and a 'pipe dream' at that? Once again she whispered a prayer of thanks to the Goddess. One cold January afternoon, a stranger at her door had changed her life forever. "Daniel," she sighed. A name. A prayer. A miracle. Synonymous with love. Safety. Happiness.

Sam smiled when she heard the soft sigh. She'd heard the seer whisper her husband's name many times. Myths were told of the power contained in a name. Without a doubt, for Casey, that name meant many things…all of them positive. Obviously the slender blonde was thinking about her husband, and what he'd been able to give her: love…happiness…peace…security. And the opportunity to be pampered occasionally.

"So, how do you think the guys will react when they see their shirts?" Janet asked casually. She was certain Teal'c would be…surprised. Such bright colors, and flowers as well, would certainly challenge his 'warrior' image. Jack would probably react in much the same way. Daniel, she figured, wouldn't mind at all…would probably laugh over the entire thing. He was, after all, a scholar. One for whom 'fitting in' with indigenous people was important in his line of work. The stories told about the things he was willing to do in the pursuit of peace were bantered around the SGC on a regular basis. Like being stripped naked, and then covered head to toe in red mud…some sort of cleansing ceremony. Or the time he was willing to allow the village leaders to strip him and paint numerous symbols on him…a way of sanctifying him so that he could approach their leader. Or the time he was wrapped like a mummy in bright yellow cloth, and put on an altar. His teammates had been terrified that he was about to be sacrificed to some unknown deity. His willingness to cooperate had been the key to securing a treaty with those people…who had spent the day praying over him, rather than killing him, much to everyone's relief.

"We'll probably hear the growls from here," Sam chuckled.

"I figure Jack will spend the better part of an hour arguing with Daniel," Casey giggled. "Daniel will convince him to wear it, and Jack won't let him forget it for one minute."

Janet laughed. "I have no doubt of that."

"What about Teal'c?" Casey asked.

Janet grinned. "He probably won't say a word about it. He'll put it on, and assume it's a Tau'ri method of affronting a man's masculinity. Sort of like a rite of passage."

Casey giggled again. "I’m certain Daniel will be able to explain the reason for the bright colors."

"And the flowers," Janet added with a chuckle.

Bridget, the manager of the salon, entered the room, a bright smile on her face. "Ladies, shall we move to the other room now? It's time to get started on your hair."

Faces shiny with the cream that was making their skin tingle, clutching the heavy white robes…which they'd donned at the beginning of their appointment…to prevent them from flying open and revealing underwear-clad bodies, they followed the tall brunette back into the main room of the salon.

"I'm Krissy," a perky redhead smiled as Casey settled into the chair.

"Casey," she replied.

"So, Casey, what are we doing today?"

"Well, if Sam is getting her hair colored, I guess that means I'd have time to get highlights?"

Krissy's smile widened. "Not a problem."

"Then, I'd like something in a very soft up-do," Casey said.

"You got it." Krissy grabbed a sample board that held a variety of hair color samples. "We could do two different colors, and it would look fantastic. Maybe a pale blonde, and then a bit of strawberry blonde?"

Casey studied the colors. She knew for a fact that as often as she shampooed her hair, the color probably wouldn't last more than two months, three at the most. Still, it would be something different…"I like it!" she declared.

Janet looked over at Casey. "That's going to look great, you know."

"You should get highlights, too," Casey replied.

Looking up at the lovely young woman beside her, Janet grinned from ear-to-ear. "You heard the lady," she chuckled.

Her cocoa face lighting up, the beautician nodded. "Let's go with blonde highlights for you."

"Whatever you want," Janet said, settling into the chair. "I'm totally open to suggestions."

"That should make Teal'c happy," Casey grinned.

"He's open to suggestions, too," Janet quipped, earning a giggle from Casey, and a chirp of laughter from Sam.

The bride was examining the extensions that were available, discussing the color options with her stylist. Sam's eyes sparkled as brightly as the diamond that flashed on her finger. Without a doubt, this 'wedding gift' would be something that Jack would long remember!

"We'll color your hair first, so that the extensions will blend in perfectly," the young woman, whose name tag read 'Kerry', promised. "You can't yank on them and expect them to stay put, of course," she added as a warning, "but for the most part, you'll be able to do whatever you do normally, and the extensions will just look and feel natural."

"Actually, I'll need to have them removed tomorrow," Sam sighed. "I'm in the military," she explained.

"Not a problem," Kerry said with a smile. "It takes about half as long to take them out as to put them in."


As she listened with half an ear to the conversation, Casey once again felt that poke. And determinedly ignored it. As long as there wasn't a sense of danger, she wasn't saying a word!




Jack glanced at his watch…again. He tapped the face. He'd swear it had been longer than the time indicated.

Daniel bit his lip. Remembered the teasing he'd endured on his wedding day, when he'd looked at his watch no less than a dozen times every five minutes. "Getting anxious?"

"Nah, just don't want to be late," Jack replied, trying to act as nonchalant as possible.

"Right," Daniel grinned. "Casey said our clothes will be in our room. I guess we're supposed to get ready there, and then meet them in front of the hotel when the car is scheduled to arrive."

Teal'c nodded. "Indeed. Janet told me the same thing."

Daniel and Jack exchanged a look of surprise. It was rare to hear the Jaffa use just a given name, rather than the full name of the person of which he spoke. "Did Janet insist on getting you a pair of white shorts?"

"She did. In fact, she purchased them for me," Teal'c replied.

He was not a man who wore shorts! His legs were so white they were liable to blind Elvis! A glance at Daniel had him relaxing. No doubt the Space Monkey's legs were just as pale. "Must have been with Sam," Jack muttered. 

"Who was with Casey," Daniel sighed.

"Have you seen these shirts?" Jack asked.

"Nope. Not even a picture."

"We're in trouble," Jack said.

"No doubt," Daniel agreed.

"Will we not be attired properly for a beach wedding?" Teal'c asked. "Janet indicated the 'theme' was that of a beach party. She called it a loo-ow."

"Luau," Daniel smiled. "You did pick the Hawaiian wedding package," he reminded Jack.

"Yeah, but why couldn't we just wear our jeans?" Jack grumped.

"Because-" Daniel started.

"I'll tell you why," Jack interrupted. "It's because Casey got involved. That skinny little trouble-making seer put weird ideas into Sam's head."

It was impossible not to laugh. Teal'c's laughter echoed with his. "Quit complaining. You're marrying Sam. What you wear isn't important," Daniel chided.

"In twenty years, I'll look at the wedding photos and cringe," Jack predicted.

"In twenty years you'll look at your wedding photos and remember what a wonderful day it was," Daniel replied softly.

Jack glanced at his best friend. "Uh…do you ever look at your wedding album?"

"Just the other day, as a matter of fact," Daniel admitted. Sighed aloud. "God, she was so beautiful in that dress."

"Yes, she was," Jack admitted, his voice low. He well remembered the look on Daniel's face when the doors at the back of the chapel had opened; the excitement, the anticipation that had filled cerulean blue eyes. And when General Hammond had appeared in the doorway, Casey at his side, the archaeologist had gasped softly.

"Indeed," Teal'c said.

"You know, Sam is gonna knock your socks off, no matter what she's wearing," Daniel said.

"Probably," Jack grinned. "Sarongs. They're wearing sarongs."

"I know," Daniel replied.

"She's gonna look great," Jack sighed.

Daniel grinned. He had no doubt that Sam would be absolutely stunning.




Casey and Janet waited beside the counter at the front of the salon. Hair and makeup done to perfection, they both looked beautiful enough to grace the cover of any prestigious magazine.

"Well, what do you think?"

At the sound of her voice, Casey and Janet turned to look at Sam. Who continued to turn her head this way and that, the feeling of hair on her shoulders so unaccustomed that she shivered at the touch of those locks.

The bride glowed under their scrutiny. She'd been more than pleased with her reflection when Kerry had finally turned her toward the mirror.

"You're gorgeous," Casey declared. "Oh, Sam, it's a shame you can't let your hair grow out."

"I could," Sam admitted. "I just don't like taking the time to deal with it. I have to keep it above my collar at work…that's just too much hassle on a daily basis."

"Not really," Janet argued.

Sam shook her head. "Your hair isn't as long, and you don't go off world on missions, or work with machinery"

Janet sighed. "Okay, I'll concede to all points."

The extensions brought Sam's hair to the middle of her back. The tapered ends fluttered around her softly. "Think he'll like it?" she asked quietly.

"He's gonna love it," Casey promised. She unconsciously patted her own hair, which had been pulled up.

Janet's hair had been trimmed to chin length, and was combed behind her ears, held in place with two flowered clips. She glanced at her watch. "We'd better get moving. We have to figure out those sarongs."




Daniel opened the door to the room. Immediately noted the packages on the bed. He picked up one of the brown wrapped shirts. It had Jack's name scrawled on the front. "This is yours," he said, tossing it toward his friend.

Jack pulled the paper open. It was a Hawaiian shirt all right. Bright red, with big white flowers all over it. He shuddered slightly. Well, he thought with a sigh, it could be worse. Although he was hard-pressed at the moment to think of any such thing.

"You have got to be kidding!" Daniel muttered. He held up the shirt from the package bearing his name. It was also red, although it leaned to the more orange side of the spectrum. And was covered with yellow and green palm trees, orange moons and multicolored flowers. And footballs. Tiny brown footballs. He had no problems with 'going native' when circumstances called for such a thing. But this…this was ridiculous! It looked as if the designer hadn't been able to make up his…or her…mind about whether he/she was creating a sport fabric or tropical fabric.

"Now mine doesn't look bad at all," Jack snorted.

Teal'c gingerly held up the yellow shirt that had been in the package marked for him. It was also covered with flowers…in blue, pink, and lavender, as well as the occasional green leaf. "This is a Hawaiian shirt?"

"Yep," Jack laughed. His first impressions of his own shirt were improving by the minute.




"Okay, according to the instructions, you just do this," Casey said, centering the fabric of her sarong behind her, "then wrap it like this, and tie it."

"Now I understand the reason for the white bikini," Janet said, watching as the young seer tied the fabric of the sarong around her neck, halter-style. Certain that as Casey moved, she'd be 'exposed'. Copying what her young friend had done, she tied her own sarong. "Hey, this gives better coverage than I thought!"

Sam opted to go with the traditional 'bare shoulders' look, tying her sarong just above her right breast. She pulled a bit of the remaining fabric over the knot, giving the top of the dress a smoother look. A second, narrow length of fabric had been included, to use as a wrap. She draped it over her arms. "Well?"

Casey sighed. "Sam, I repeat, you're gorgeous. Jack is going to fall over backwards when he sees you!"

Flip-flops, or what Sam and Janet referred to as 'shower shoes', sufficed as their footwear, the colors matching their dresses. The rubber sandals were a compromise to Jack's aversion to going completely barefooted, as the men were also wearing flip-flops that matched their shirts.

Dabbing a bit of perfume behind her ears, Sam gave herself one last critical look in the mirror.

"We need to get going," Janet said softly.

She took a deep breath. In an hour, maybe less, she was going to be married. Sam turned pale, swayed slightly.

"Sam?" Casey asked worriedly, hurrying to her best friend's side. "Are you okay?"

"Married," Sam whispered hoarsely.

"That's the plan," Casey replied calmly. Remembered a very similar conversation the day she and her best friends had driven to Denver to choose her wedding dress. All brides must panic like this, she thought, a bit amusedly.

Janet took Sam's hand, noted it was slightly cool. Unobtrusively took her pulse. Which was racing. "Do you love him?"

Blue eyes focused on the doctor's face. "With all my heart."

"Then this is the right thing," Janet said softly.

"Your hearts have been one for a long time, Sam," Casey added, her own voice soft. "This is just a public way of acknowledging that fact."

Sam nodded. "I'm ready," she said.

"Five dollars says Jack won't be able to utter a single coherent word when he sees her," Casey said to Janet, with a wide grin.

"Ten says he'll stammer for about five minutes," Janet countered.

"You're on."

Sam giggled. "I'll take a piece of that!"

Laughing as they emerged from the room, not one of the three noticed the tall, brown-haired man standing near the entrance to the stairwell.




The limousine was waiting in front of the main entrance doors. The three men of SG-1 stood beside it impatiently.

Jack shook his head. "If we're late, we'll have to reschedule."

"We won't be late," Daniel said, although if the bride and her attendants didn't get here soon, they were going to be pushing it.

Teal'c's sharp eyes spotted the ladies as they made their way toward the door. He gasped slightly when Janet came into full view. He glanced down at his shirt. The lavender of the dress she wore was the same as the flowers in his shirt. Without a doubt the choice of both had been precise, leaving no doubt that the petite woman belonged to him.

"Wow," Daniel murmured, watching as Casey walked toward him; her smile and eyes sending her love.

"Holy buckets," Jack gasped. Sam's hair was long! How the hell had she managed that? The tresses moved gently as she walked toward him. Her dress did little to hide the lithe, fit body that it covered. Like Teal'c, he glanced at his shirt, realizing that the flowers that adorned it were identical to those of her blue sarong.

"Ready?" Sam asked, as soon as she was standing in front of Jack.

He reached out, wound a lock of blonde hair around his finger. "Uh…um…wow."

Casey prodded Janet with an elbow. "Pay up."

"Hey, he's stammering," Janet insisted.

"Nope. Incoherent mumbling," Casey argued.

Janet laughed. "Draw?"


Totally unaware of the conversation between the two women, Jack continued to stare at his fiancée. "You look…wow. You're beautiful."

Sam blushed prettily. "Thank you."

"How?" he asked, nodding at the hair he continued to toy with.

"Hair extensions," Sam replied softly. "Your wedding present."

"Thank you," he whispered. "I love it."

"I have to have them taken out before we leave."


"Tomorrow," she confirmed.


"Okay, let's go," Daniel said, grinning at his friends.

The group piled into the car, and Jack immediately opened the bottle of champagne. "To my beautiful bride," he said, lifting his glass.

"Hear, hear," Daniel said, raising his glass in salute.

"I'm so happy for you," Casey said, after taking a sip of the bubbly wine.

"Me, too," Sam giggled.

"I'm glad you're finally able to be together," Daniel nodded.

"It's not like we didn't all know how you felt about each other," Janet added, smirking slightly.

Sam and Jack exchanged looks. "And here we thought we were hiding our feelings so well!" Sam said, shaking her head.

"It would seem that you were not successful," Teal'c said, his cheek twitching slightly.

"Hard to hide a love that sparks when the two people involved are in the same room," Janet grinned.

"Sparks?" Jack croaked.

"Big time. Sparks all over the place," Daniel grinned.

"Indeed. Even if you chose to ignore one another's presence, the sparks remained," Teal'c added.

"Which is why the president had to be confronted," Casey declared. "I mean, really, how stupid is it to think that people working at the SGC can have any sort of 'normal' life in the first place, and who the hell decided that military regs could dictate matters of the heart in the second place?"

Daniel chuckled loudly. "Come on, Case, tell us how you really feel about it."

Jack chuckled as well. Then leaned over to squeeze Casey's hand. "Have I ever thanked you for that?"

"A time or two," Casey smiled.

"Never piss off the skinny blonde," Jack grinned.

The ride to the Graceland Wedding Chapel was short, and within minutes the driver was ushering the group through the double doors.

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