<<Previous | Story Intro | Return to Stories | Next >>
I Was Lost, But Now I'm Found
"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me,
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see..."
"Amazing Grace" Written by John Newton
Oh, god! It hurts so damned bad! It isn't her fault, god only knows what she's been through...but those amazing green eyes didn't recognized me...didn't fill with love and warmth and happiness like they always do when she looks at me...
There'd been...nothing; nothing in those pools of emerald green until the fear...the abject terror that had filled them; and she'd been scared to death of him...of him! Begging Teal'c's forgiveness for whatever sin she believed she'd committed, screaming her submission ...Would she ever find her way back from whatever hell Ba'al had sent her to? Would those beautiful eyes ever look at him and see the man she loved? Would she ever come back to him?
Janet opened the door of the isolation room, stepped into the corridor to find Daniel on his knees, tears streaming down his cheeks, his jaw clenched so tightly she feared he was about to destroy his teeth. "Daniel?"
When he tried to take a deep breath, the sob of pain he'd been struggling to hold back escaped, and he lowered his head, shook it slowly.
She knelt down beside him. "Daniel, I want you to listen to me. She's been drugged, yes. She's been through hell, yes. But there's always hope! Don't you dare lose it!" She studied him for a few seconds. Had her suspicions. "I want to ask you something, and I want an honest answer. How much do you remember of the four days when Osiris held you prisoner?"
He lifted his head, looked at the doctor. "There are a few...images; nothing that's clear."
He examined what 'memories' he did have of his time as Osiris' prisoner. He shook his head. "No, just those...blurry...images."
"If I don't miss my guess, that's all Casey will have. Her memory is there. Everything is there. Her ability to access them has been...altered. I've sedated her; she's exhausted, and needs to sleep. I also want her calm while I pump her full of liquids, she's dehydrated, and getting her hydrated will only speed up the purging process. I want you to go home and get some sleep as well. And I want you back here by six a.m."
"I figure she should wake up about six-thirty. And when she does, I want you to be here. I don't know how much of that drug is left in her system. But when it finally runs its course, she's going to be screaming her head off for you, and I will not listen to that. So you will be here. Do I make myself clear?" Janet asked, her voice firm, her brown eyes solemn, although a flicker of mirth could be seen in their depths.
He grinned. "Crystal."
"Good. Now go. I don't know how much sleep you'll get after tonight."
Daniel reached forward, hugged the petite woman. "Thanks, Janet."
"You're welcome," she smiled.
Jack and Sam had seen what had transpired in the room, had been on their way to comfort their teammate, their best friend. "Daniel?" Jack asked softly.
"I...uh...I need to go get some sleep," he mumbled, wiping hastily at his cheeks, embarrassed that his friends had caught him in such a moment of weakness. He should be holding it together, for Casey; and here he was, falling completely apart!
The older man frowned. He hadn't thought it'd be possible to get Daniel off the base, even at gun point. "Come again?"
Daniel stood to his feet, helped Janet to hers. "She's been drugged. Same stuff that Osiris used on me-"
"I think," Janet interjected.
"I have to be here when she wakes up, so that when that stuff leaves her system-"
"We'll be spared hearing her yelling for you the way we had to listen to you demanding to know where she was and what was going on," Sam finished, grinning broadly.
Jack looked from Sam to Janet and back again. "Bad?"
"Obnoxious," Sam replied.
"Now, imagine Casey with that attitude," Janet grinned.
"Maybe you should just sleep here," Jack suggested quickly, grinning at the young archaeologist.
Janet shook her head. "I want all three of you to go home and get some sleep. Until that drug is out of her body, things are going to be...intense." The sedative would no doubt cause the drug to 'linger' in the young seer's system, but lord knew she needed the rest! There was no need for her to point out that during the worst of it, when Casey was awake, Daniel would need his friends at his side.
"How long do you think it will take to rid her body of the drugs?" Jack asked.
"I don't know," Janet replied honestly. "It depends on how much he gave her, how often. And I have no idea if he started giving it to her right away; how long she's been...doped up...will have an affect as well."
General Hammond approached the four as they stood talking in the corridor. "What's going on?"
Dr. Fraiser turned to face him. "Right now, Casey is still under the influence of whatever drugs Ba'al used on her. I'm waiting for the lab reports, but I'm guessing that it's the same, or similar to what was used on Daniel. Once it's out of her system, she should be right as rain."
The general smiled. "Well, that's good news!"
"I've sedated her, she should sleep for several hours, and I'm ordering SG-1, or at least, these particular members of SG-1, to go home and get some sleep."
"I'll see to it that they have an escort," Hammond said, eyeing the team members. There'd be no other way to get the three to leave.
"Not necessary, sir," Jack said jauntily. "We have to rest up before Radar in there wakes up and starts raising hell. You know how much she loves the infirmary."
He couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped. "Very well. I'll see you all here tomorrow," the general replied.
A A A A A A
Her dreams were strange...disjointed...faces of people she didn't know, smiling faces that made her feel warm and happy...the man with those beautiful blue eyes...the dark face of her Lord...no, that wasn't right...her friend, he was her friend...the angry face of her Master ...an old woman...who in the hell was that old woman and why did she look so sad? Crying! She didn't think she'd ever seen Miss Eloise cry, not even at Grandma Rose's funeral...
She yelped out loud. "Miss Eloise!"
The old woman smiled through her tears, held open thin arms that had been ravaged by hard work and old age, but no longer ached with arthritis. "Sunshine!"
Casey held the old woman tightly. "Oh, goddess, it was awful! Oh Miss Eloise...the things he did...that he made them do..." A shaky breath turned into a sob, which lead to a wail of agony, the weight of all she'd endured dropping onto her slender shoulders in a sudden jolt of mixed emotions. Anger, terror, shame...all coursed through her veins at lightening speed, leaving her breathless with pain.
"It's all right, Sunshine, have a good cry."
Time meant nothing to her as she sobbed out her distress...her grief. Never again. Daniel would never...could never...touch her again, not after she'd been taken by so many men. This thought brought a new round of tears. "Oh, god, I've lost him," she cried, her slender frame wracked by the sobs that shook her from head to foot.
"Lost who?" Miss Eloise asked softly.
The old woman pushed Casey away from her shoulder, peered up into tear-filled green eyes. "Where did you get a cockamamie idea like that?"
She wiped at her cheeks, sniffed noisily. "I...so many Jaffa...and they...they all...what they did to me...they touched me, and..."
"Casey Renee!" the old woman exploded. "You were raped! Daniel understands that! And he will never hold you accountable! Right now that poor young man is blaming himself for everything you went through! He loves you, you little dolt!"
"Why is he blaming himself? Daniel had nothing to do with what happened. It was my own stupidity that got me caught! I almost got Teal'c captured!" She pulled away from the woman, wrapped her arms around her waist, and began to pace. "I don't know why I stopped. But that little girl-" she broke off, smiled gently. "She was so cute, and I thought if I could prove that we were the good guys, you know, let the adults see that they had nothing to fear..."
"Sometimes our actions are...influenced...in order for other events to be set into place, Sunshine," Miss Eloise said softly.
"There was a reason I went through all of that, isn't there?" she asked, her voice soft, understanding lighting her eyes.
"Not good enough," the old woman mumbled. She looked up, as if in response to being spoken to. "I'm not an idiot! Of course I won't say anything!"
She couldn't help but smile. "I won't ask. I don't want you to get into trouble."
The old woman harrumphed, but said nothing.
Casey shuddered, rubbed her hands up and down her arms. "I can't stop the images...I keep seeing everything that happened...I hear him, and I hear what I said, see how I acted..."
"As soon as the ker'nish'ta is completely out of your system, nothing of that time will remain in your memory. I promise."
She tugged her lip between her teeth. "It's almost like cheating," she said softly.
"How so?" Miss Eloise asked, a frown on her face.
"What I went through...most people...women...who have endured things like that wind up hospitalized, at least for awhile...they face years of therapy to help them deal with the memories, the emotions...I'll wake up, and it will be like it never happened," she explained slowly.
"As it should be! Most people, or women, aren't subjected to two weeks of torture at the hands of a Goa'uld," Miss Eloise said dryly. "Casey, you're married to The One. You're His Beloved. I've already told you that his path is a rocky one. You will suffer greatly, because you're a much easier target."
"Yes. You are as well, to a point. But you are also a much more valuable target. How better to defeat The One than to destroy His Beloved?"
"Oh, god, poor Daniel!"
"That you won't remember anything is a result of the drug. It's also a blessing. If you were to remember all that you suffer as His Beloved, your mind wouldn't be able to bear the weight of it. It's not cheating, Casey. It's a blessing," the old woman repeated. "Accept it as such."
"When I wake up..."
"Sorry, Sunshine. There's still enough of that crap in your system that it's going to be a awhile. Not much longer, though, I promise."
Miss Eloise grinned. "Just say that I called in a few favors, and leave it at that. When you do remember me again, you'll remember this conversation, I promise that as well. Now, sleep, Sunshine. You need your rest."
A A A A A A
Daniel unlocked the door, stepped into the warmth of the house. He tossed his jacket onto the arm of the sofa. Wandered into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. Hungry, he opened the refrigerator. The ceramic insert of the slow cooker was still wrapped in the tea towel. He lifted it out. One pot roast and vegetables, shot to hell. And he never even got to taste it! He took the dish outside, dumped the reeking contents into the garbage can. Damned Goa'uld anyway!
He set the dish into the sink, filled it with hot water and dish soap. He'd wash it later. He stopped, leaned against the counter, ran a hand over his face. Janet had given him an injection before he left the base. To tide him over, she'd said. Two weeks. It had been two long weeks since he'd last held her in his arms. If Janet was right, by tomorrow night, the next night at the latest, Casey would be home. Would be fine. And wouldn't remember the horrors that she'd suffered.
The debrief had been long. There had been the bad news that the 'missing ships' weren't missing any longer. There was no way of knowing if Tem's Jaffa had survived and taken them, or if Ba'al had found them, or if one of the Goa'uld on the way to confront Ba'al had managed to find them. All they knew for certain was that they were no longer on P9X 794. Nor did they have any clue as to where the fleeing ships had been bound. Eleven more Goa'uld mother ships were out there, and it didn't matter whose hands they were in. They were a threat to Earth.
Teal'c had refused to reveal exactly what he'd seen, what he'd witnessed, when he'd snuck into that castle to save Casey. No one had to ask if what he'd seen had been bad. That had been clearly written on his face. Daniel shook his head. Teal'c was blaming himself for Casey's capture. Jack was blaming himself. Hell, he was blaming himself! Sam had very quietly, but firmly, pointed out that Casey had known that the Jaffa were just seconds from entering that village when she'd stopped, and was, whether or not the men wanted to admit it, responsible for her own capture. He shook his head. Casey was his Wife. He should have made sure she was at his side. He should have been hanging onto her. One thing was for damned sure, not one of the men of SG-1 would ever let her drop behind them again!
The coffee was almost ready. He rummaged through the pantry, found a can of soup. The last time he'd eaten had been on the Tok'ra base...no, they'd started to eat, not that he'd had much of an appetite...and then that attack sent them racing for the communications room, to save what information they could...
Dead. He'd been dead. Oh, he'd been dead before, technically. Sometimes those damned sarcophagi could come in pretty darned handy. But this time, he'd really been dead. If not for his Immortality, he'd be in the SGC morgue. For three days Teal'c had sat vigil over him, and Sam, and Jack. He glanced at the telephone. No, this needed to be said face to face. He turned off the coffee maker. Poured most of the contents into his travel mug. Put the can of soup back into the pantry. Grabbed his jacket and his ID badge.
A A A A A A
No matter how he tried, it seemed he could not force the hateful images from his mind. Her body so bruised...angry purple and red marks on her breasts, her thighs, her stomach. Fading bruises beneath newer welts still covered her face. He had felt the welts on her back as he had carried her; welts and cuts from being beaten, whipped like an animal. The way that mik'ta'ha had...
Black eyes opened. Glistened with unshed tears. He was well aware of the fact that she'd been raped - repeatedly - before his arrival. But to have stood there in the shadows as he had, allowing not just one, but two men to brutalize her further...he hadn't carried his staff weapon or a P90 into that castle, it would have been too awkward trying to climb with them in the first place, and he'd only had seconds in which to scale that wall. In the second place, in his haste to depart the SGC, and because the Marine escort who'd met him at the gate, hurrying him along, had taken him directly to the 'gate room, he'd carried neither weapon to the planet with him. His nine millimeter, and the holster belt for it, had been removed as he tried to sleep for just a bit after dawn. His need to 'manufacture' a makeshift grappling hook had taken precedence in his mind...and then there had been only minutes to get into place before the C4 exploded....He'd raced into that keep unarmed...and never had it occurred to him what a foolish risk that had been! Neither he, nor the men of SG-2, had even considered that fact when they made their plans, executed the scheme that had ultimately, and thankfully, freed Casey Jackson from Ba'al's clutches.
Dr. Fraiser insisted that Casey would be 'right as rain' as soon as the drugs Ba'al had used were out of her body. Until then...until then she'd continue to speak Goa'uld. Would continue to believe she was a slave, a h'as of no value. Would continue to look at her Husband as if she didn't know him. Daniel Jackson would continue to suffer-
The soft tap on the door roused him from his troubled thoughts. He was more than a little surprised to find the very man he'd been thinking about standing in the corridor.
"Hey, Teal'c. I'm not disturbing you, am I?" Daniel asked quietly. He could see that the dozens of candles that Jaffa owned were all lit. He'd probably been meditating.
"You are not, Daniel Jackson," the large man replied.
"Um...could I come in? I'd like to talk to you."
With a nod of his head, Teal'c stepped to the side, allowed his friend to enter the room. "Of what do you wish to speak?"
He looked into troubled dark eyes. "First off, I wanted to thank you. If not for you..." he waved a hand in lieu of the words he couldn't even think, let alone utter, then shoved it back into his pocket. "I knew you'd bring her home to me," he said softly.
"I am honored by your faith in me," Teal'c replied, his own voice soft.
"May I?" Daniel asked, pointing to the pillows on the floor.
He settled cross-legged on the floor. Smiled briefly as he recalled the last time he'd been in this room, sitting just like this. Teal'c insisted that Casey learn to meditate in the Jaffa manner, a part of the mastaba she was learning. She'd demanded that he be present ...she didn't want any rumors flying that she was being unfaithful to him. Daniel had joined Teal'c at least once a week to meditate before Casey had come into his life. That night he'd realized how much he'd actually missed it. He'd been meaning to talk to his friend about it before now. "I think I'd like to start meditating with you...with Casey and you," he said. "On a regular schedule."
"I would like that as well, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said, as he resumed his position on the floor. He'd missed the evenings spent in silent meditation, or quietly spoken words. He derived much comfort, much pleasure, from the company of his young friends.
The two men sat in companionable silence for a few minutes. "It wasn't your fault," Daniel blurted.
Teal'c started. "I was behind her. It was my failure to force her to continue moving that led to her capture."
Daniel shook his head. "If it's any one's fault, it's mine. She's my Wife. I was running, and I didn't even bother to make sure she was beside me!" He frowned. That had never happened before! Usually he, Jack and Teal'c were running behind Sam and Casey, making certain that the women were safe. Or Teal'c was running point, his finely honed instincts leading them safely away from danger, while he and Jack took the six. Why in the hell hadn't they been doing the same on that day?
"We did not behave as we normally do," Teal'c said, his own thoughts having taken the same path as those of his companion.
"You're right, we didn't. Casey kept saying that there was something...odd...about that place," Daniel mused. Apparently that...something...had affected them all, making them all act out of character. Not much, not enough to be noticed, at least, not until it was a life and death situation.
The dark man nodded. He'd heard several of the young woman's comments concerning her unease.
"Teal'c, do you believe it's possible for an entire planet to be...cursed?"
"I do not know, Daniel Jackson. I do know that something on that planet affected us. All of us."
"Do you think it affected Ba'al as well?"
"I do not believe he was immune to whatever was...there," Teal'c replied.
He frowned. That could be bad...or good. Good, if Ba'al didn't behave as he normally did, perhaps was too preoccupied with finding Tem's ships. Bad if it made him more... aggressive...than normal. "When I close my eyes, I can hear her screaming," he whispered.
"As can I," Teal'c admitted. He didn't say that he also had the images of her being raped to battle as well.
Another soft tap on the door. Neither man was surprised to see Jack and Sam standing on the other side.
"Guess it's that SG-1 link," Jack said, smiling weakly.
"Must be," Daniel replied. Sam had been crying; her eyes were still slightly red, just a bit puffy.
The team had taken to meditating together whenever they'd been on a mission that tried their very souls. Or when something insignificant triggered memories of the time spent on P7Y 190.
"Daniel Jackson and I were discussing our abnormal behavior," Teal'c said, as he settled back onto the floor.
Jack nodded. "We...uh...we were talking about the same thing. I never leave my team behind, I never run in front, unless the trouble is in front of us."
"I know," Daniel said. He reached out and squeezed Jack's shoulder. "You're a damned good CO."
"Something was going on, something really...weird," Sam nodded.
"Casey kept saying the place felt odd. She said it was giving her the creeps," Daniel said.
Jack nodded his gray head. "It was creeping me out, too. New rule, campers. When any of us feel that way, I don't give a damn what the mission objectives are, we're bugging the hell out immediately!" Three faces smiled at him. Well, two. But he had no doubt that Teal'c was smiling on the inside.
Without realizing it, the four teammates had shifted until their knees were touching, the need for physical contact manifesting itself in their subconscious movements.
When tears glistened in Teal'c's eyes, the others remained silent. When...if...the giant man needed to speak, he'd do so. Again - without conscious thought - hands sought and found hands, gripped tightly; took and received comfort. The need, and the ability, had always been within them. It had taken a stubborn blonde-headed, green-eyed seer to release it.
"I did not stop them," Teal'c rasped. "I stood in the shadows like a coward!"
"I don't believe that!" Jack replied instantly. "Give me a sit rep."
The firm tone of voice, the demand for a 'situation report', gave Teal'c the 'permission' to speak that his heart...his soul...needed. "I did not consider that I was unarmed when I went into the edifice," he said softly. "The diversion that Major Newsome and his men created was sufficient to occupy the attention of the Jaffa; allowed me to scale the wall unhindered. When I entered the structure, the Jaffa who ran toward me were easily disabled. I did not pick up their staff weapons." His thought, his only thought, had been to get to Casey.
Jack frowned. Teal'c would never have gone anywhere unarmed. Certainly wouldn't have left a staff weapon behind if he hadn't come in with one. "Go on," he said quietly.
"I did not know which way to turn. I...I asked for guidance from Miss Eloise," the Jaffa admitted.
"She helped you," Sam smiled.
"I had barely finished speaking my request when I heard..." he stopped, looked at Daniel.
"It's all right, Teal'c. I can handle it," Daniel said softly. Praying that he could; fearing that he couldn't.
"I heard Casey Jackson scream with pain." There was no need to add that the crack of a whip, the sound of the leather coming into contact with bare flesh, was the sound that heralded that scream.
Each of the team members listening to the narrative flinched. They too had heard the screams of pain, just seconds before they'd been ringed away to Ba'al's ship.
"It took several minutes to find the room in which Ba'al was holding her. I was able to slip inside, and I stayed in the shadows, waiting an opportunity to move forward, grab Casey Jackson and make an escape."
"Wh..." Jack cleared his throat. "I take it that she was being-" He didn't think...no, he knew he didn't want to know just exactly what that snake bastard was doing to the to his young friend...the wife of his best friend.
"Raped. As punishment, for what I do not know," Teal'c replied. "When the Jaffa dropped their staff weapons..." Tortured black eyes turned to Daniel; begging his understanding, his forgiveness. "I dared not move until they were all...unaware."
"You'd have been killed," Jack said, glancing at Daniel. The blue eyes were full of pain. "You would've gotten her killed."
One short nod was Teal'c's only response to the older man's comment. "I could see the bruises on her body. When I carried her, I could feel the welts on her back, from being...whipped. He...Ba'al still held the whip." Again he felt the need to omit certain details...such as the blood that covered the floor beneath the young woman as she was brutally molested, the result of the beating she had just received. Daniel Jackson need not hear such things. What he was hearing was difficult enough to bear.
A gasp of pain that ended in a sob erupted from Daniel's lips. With a moan, he leaned forward, his arms around his waist, his mind conjuring up the scene in splendid Technicolor. Sam reached out to him, gently ran one hand up and down his back when he rested his head against her shoulder, and began to weep.
"I killed the mik'ta'ha who...who-" The large man broke off, turned his head away for a moment, swallowed twice. "I killed them both, then the one who waited. When I took aim at Ba'al, he activated his personal shield, and ran from the room. When I had killed the Jaffa who was on top of her...Casey pushed him away, and was able to flee. I followed her, found her crouching in a corner of a hidden room. The structure was shaking, had been shaking from the moment I killed the Jaffa; the ha'tak began to rise from the ground, causing an earthquake, although I did not know that was what was happening at that moment. I was able to convince her to take my hand, and I picked her up. I ran from the castle...if any of Ba'al's Jaffa were near, I did not see them."
No doubt the man had had a look on his face that would have stopped God himself, Jack thought wryly. "You did good, Teal'c. You got in, you got her out. That's what that entire mission was for."
"I did not stop them," he repeated, the words further tightening the skin on his ebony cheeks.
"Teal'c, there is no way you could have done anything, even if you'd been armed," Jack argued. "They'd have mowed you down, and probably killed Casey as well. Ba'al finding out about...our little secret...is not something that you could have allowed to happen."
"Jack's right," Sam said. Daniel was sitting upright once again, she gave him a small smile when he squeezed her hand.
"You did what you had to do, when you had the opportunity to do it," Daniel said quietly. "She won't remember, Teal'c. She won't even remember you being there to save her. And I'm sorry for that. I know that Casey thinks the world of you. It will bother her that you risked your life for her, and that she'll have no memory of it."
Unable to speak, the dark man nodded. Silence filled the room as they all began to deal with their thoughts, their demons, their anguish over what had happened to one of their own. What happened to one member of SG-1 happened to the entire team. Once again their hearts reached out to one another; seeking, and finding, the comfort they needed.
A A A A A A
"Noc," she whispered, tossing her head from side to side as the nightmare increased in intensity. Beating...he was beating her...fists at first, then the whip...oh god how it hurt! "Noc! Noc! Forgive! Forgive!"
Janet glanced up at the monitor, the sounds of Casey's cries grabbing her attention. She glanced at the clock. Just after one. The sedative should have kept her out completely for at least five more hours! The young woman had remained asleep while she and Jill bathed her, washed her long hair, put her in the blue infirmary pajamas. She'd been filthy, and Casey would've been abhorred to wake up in such a condition. Janet knew that Casey had been completely unconscious when she'd checked on her earlier; she'd managed to do a pelvic exam without the young seer being aware, finding that the Immortality that she'd been granted had already repaired any damage. The wounds she'd arrived with were fading quickly as well. Jill had looked curious about the fact that the bruises were disappearing, but said nothing. Another cry from the monitor stirred her from her thoughts. The doctor hurried to the isolation room.
Eyes open, seeing not the gray walled room around her, but the stone walls of the keep that had been her prison, her hell, Casey was kneeling on the bed, head on the mattress in front of her knees, her hands clasped and held up, a posture of begging. "Forgive! Forgive!"
Janet ran to the intercom. "Jill, get Teal'c up here now!" She turned back to the figure that huddled on the bed, shaking with terror. "Give me five minutes with that son-of-a-bitch," she whispered fiercely. She took a step toward the bed, reached out to touch a slender shoulder.
As the doctor had feared, Casey jerked from the touch, then tried to move away. "Casey, it's all right, I'm not going to hurt you," she said softly, soothingly. She moved slowly toward the IV unit, checked to make certain that it was working properly. That was odd. The drip had been slowed to almost a complete stop! No wonder the nightmare had managed to wake her up! Another glance, and she found that the thin tube had been pinched in the seam of the unit; must have happened when she'd had Jill increase the drip slightly while she examined the young woman. She glanced desperately at the door, willing the Jaffa to get there, needing him to help calm the now hysterical young woman.
A A A A A A
The tap on the door had the team jerking to attention, then smiling shyly at one another. "Grand Central Station," Sam intoned.
"You always this busy, Teal'c?" Jack asked, rolling his shoulders to stretch them a bit.
The Jaffa didn't bother to hide his smile. "I am not." He felt his heart drop when he saw the nurse from the infirmary standing outside the door.
"Casey's conscious," she said, surprised that he answered so quickly. If she'd known he was awake, she'd have just called down on the intercom! She didn't realize that the entire team was in his room.
Teal'c raced out of the door without a backward glance, his friends right behind him. Jill stared, wondering just when they'd managed to sneak back in. She'd watched them leaving as she signed in after her lunch break.
When he burst through the door of the isolation room, Casey was once again cowering in the corner. He stopped, took a deep breath. "Casey, what is wrong?" His voice was soft, calm.
"Beat me," she whispered.
He jerked. Was this woman asking him to...did she want him...expect him to...no, surely not! "What did you say?"
"He beat me...Master beat me...I tried so hard to obey...but...He beat me...He is Master. I am a slave, I am nothing," she replied. She tried to move farther back.
Slowly, the large man crossed the room. Crouched down in front of her. Held out his hand, waited patiently until she put her fingers against it. Gently closed his around them, held her hand tightly. "He is not your Master. He is a Goa'uld. A false god. A mik'ta'ha. You are a strong, intelligent woman. You are a warrior. You need not fear him."
She listened carefully. How could this be? Master had told her she was nothing. She was h'as. Fit only to be used by his Jaffa. Not worthy of a name. She looked into dark eyes. "Tal'mac Ca-see Jak-sun."
"Ti'u. You are Casey Jackson," Teal'c smiled. "You have a name. You are very special."
"Di'stra Teal'c?" [Master Teal'c?]
"Noc. Kah'ne Teal'c. Kah'ne." [No. Friend Teal'c. Friend.]
She glanced around the room. "Cal mah?" [Sanctuary; or, is this sanctuary?]
"Ti'u. Cal mah. You are safe here."
Four faces gazed at her from near the door. One of those faces belonged to the man with the beautiful blue eyes. Stud Muffin. She was his Beloved. She remembered that now. Her eyes went back to Teal'c, she slid closer to him. "They're looking at me. Have I done something wrong? Something...bad?"
Daniel tried to bite back the soft moan that rose from his chest as her softly spoken words made their way to his ears.
"What?" Jack asked.
"She thinks she's done something wrong, or bad, because we're watching...looking at her," Daniel explained.
"Maybe we should leave," Sam said softly.
"I thought you had," Janet replied dryly. "I was certain I'd made your going home an order, not a request."
"I needed to talk to Teal'c," Daniel replied.
"We did, too," Jack said.
The petite doctor sighed. When SG-1 faced anything, they did it together, as a team. She should have known that there was no way the three would, or could, remain off base. Not as long as Casey was laying in that bed. Especially Daniel. The fact that he'd been willing to leave at all had been nothing short of a miracle.
"Let's go," Jack said softly.
"No," Teal'c said. "You should stay. Casey Jackson needs to understand...needs to see that you are her friends as well." He waved them forward. "Kah'ne O'Neill. Kah'ne Samantha Carter. Beloved Daniel Jackson."
Green eyes flickered briefly, quickly, over each face, dropped to the floor, then back again. When there were no admonishments for bad behavior, no slaps or punches, she dared to look at them again. Each of them smiled at her. Stud Muffin looked sad, though. She looked at Teal'c again. "Kah'ne?"
She dared further, looked into those beautiful blue eyes. "Stud Muffin."
He couldn't help but smile. "You are my Angel."
Teal'c stood, pulled Casey to her feet. "You must return to bed. You are still weak from your ordeal."
She was staring at the IV bag, took note of the thin tube that extended from the bottom of it. One finger reached out to touch the metal box that it disappeared into, then traced it to the place on her arm where surgical tape held it, and the catheter that linked it to her vein, in place. "Is this...is this the potion that will help me be good?" she asked softly.
Teal'c had quietly translated what the seer had said. Janet began to mutter beneath her breath in response. The team caught the words 'Ba'al', 'castrate', 'rusty knife' and 'no anesthesia'.
Daniel stepped forward, then hesitated. He glanced at Teal'c. Wondered how long it would be before he could speak to his Wife without feeling as if he needed to ask the Jaffa's permission to do so.
Teal'c said nothing, he merely stepped backwards, toward the wall, leaving Daniel standing closest to the young blonde.
"It's called an IV. There is no potion in it. It's...it's like the water you drink. Only it goes into your body much faster this way. You weren't given enough water while you were..." he paused. "While you were being held prisoner, against your will."
She was mesmerized by those beautiful blue eyes. They seemed so familiar to her! And so...important! Well, she thought, I am his Beloved. She belonged to this man, of course they'd seem familiar! "No potion?"
"No. You need no potion to be good," he said softly.
The words made her feel good...warm. She smiled. Watched the emotions that filled those beautiful eyes. His smile was warm, and...sexy. Sexy? Yes, very sexy. She liked it! A lot! She glanced nervously at Teal'c as those thoughts skittered across her brain. He was smiling, too. She looked back at Stud Muffin...no, he said his name was Dan-yel. "Dan-yel...Beloved?"
Tears filled his eyes. "Yes, Angel. You are my Beloved, I am yours," he whispered.
Again those green eyes flickered toward the Jaffa who was standing by the wall, seeking his permission, his approval. "Ba'al is a mighty god, he is Master," she whispered.
"No!" Daniel hissed. "Noc! Ba'al is a Goa'uld! A parasite! He took you from me. He hurt you. He is nothing. He deserves no name!"
His angry words startled her, she stepped back instinctively, her arms flying up to protect her face.
Oh, god! What had he done? A raised, or angry voice most probably always meant physical punishment. Without thinking, he reached for her, pulled her trembling body into his arms. Heaven! Oh dear lord she feels like heaven! He pressed his face against her hair. Whatever they'd washed it with, it didn't smell as good as her shampoo. Still, that sweet scent of spring flowers and vanilla filled his senses.
For a few terrifying seconds, she was certain she was about to be beaten. When the man... when Stud Muffin...no, no! Dan-yel! When Dan-yel had pulled her into his arms, she was positive that she was about to be raped. But when his arms locked around her, held her so tightly...safe...she felt...safe! She stood still, afraid to move, afraid that if she did he'd let go of her. And oh, she did so want him to continue holding her so close!
He wanted to cry out with disappointment when she remained stiff in his arms, afraid of only god knew what. His heart aching, he started to loosen his grip on her. She shifted slightly. Had she just leaned into him? He moved back, just a fraction of an inch or so, kept his arms around her. He closed his eyes, felt the tears in his lashes when her body followed. "It's all right," he whispered in her ear. "I'll never let you go, Angel. And if you want to hug me back, well, that's all right too. In fact, I'd like it very much."
She wasn't quite sure what to do, worried that this was some sort of test; touching wasn't allowed, at least, she wasn't allowed to touch, unless she was specifically ordered to do so. If this was a test, and she touched, she'd be punished. Her heart hammering against her ribs, she struggled with what her heart wanted to do, and what her...training...told her was permitted. Before she could come to a decision, Dan-yel slowly dropped his arms, and stepped away from her. She wanted to cry out, wanted his arms around her. But she didn't dare to make a sound.
Too much, too fast, he thought dejectedly. He'd been hoping that her arms would encircle him, hold him as tightly as he wanted to hold her. But she wasn't ready. Wasn't free from the poison that bastard had filled her with. Her mind was still reeling, she was still dealing with the conditioning the Goa'uld had subjected her to. The look of misery on his face made his friends ache for him, with him.
"I think she should be in bed," Janet said softly. "All of you should be in bed."
Jack looked over at the doctor. "Sometimes, a team just has to stay together. No matter what," he said softly.
"I'll have chairs brought in," she replied, her voice soft as well.
"You must sleep, Casey Jackson," Teal'c said, having watched the emotions playing over both faces. She needed to know that she'd done nothing wrong. Needed to be reassured. Daniel Jackson needed a chance to compose himself.
Casey obediently crawled onto the bed. Once again her eyes went to Teal'c when Daniel pulled the sheet and blanket up over her slender frame, tucked it gently beneath her chin.
"Do you mind if I sit here with you?" Daniel asked softly. Tried not to wince as those amazing green eyes went to the Jaffa yet again.
Teal'c didn't look angry. In fact he looked...happy? Maybe he wanted Dan-yel to sit beside her. Beloved...what did that mean, exactly? She only now realized that she wasn't quite sure. It sounded nice. She looked at him, into those blue eyes. Wanted his arms around her again. "I don't mind," she finally whispered.
Carefully, lest he frighten her, Daniel sat down on the edge of the bed. Fought the urge to reach out and brush that lock of blonde silk from her face. "Close your eyes, Angel. Go to sleep."
This time, she didn't look toward the man who'd taken her from the bad place. She closed her eyes. Opened them again, just to make certain Dan'yel, and his beautiful blue eyes, was still there. He was. Satisfied, knowing deep in her heart that no matter how long she slept, he'd be right beside her when she woke up, Casey gave a little sigh, and closed her eyes.
<<Previous | Story Intro | Return to Stories | Next >>