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When the Darkness Comes
The voice was whispering again. Telling her that he was still lying to her. Telling her that Daniel worked for 'them' now, that he didn’t love her at all. That he still belonged to…she woke up with a start, her body trembling, a sheen of perspiration covered her body. She moved away from him gently, not wanting to wake him.
This was the third night in a row. The first night she had been so upset that she had sat on the couch and cried. The images so real that when he came to her, wanted to stay with her, she couldn’t be near him. She had stayed in the guest bedroom, locked behind the door, until she was sure that he had gone back to bed. She sat by that locked door the remainder of the night; crying, broken-hearted…her world tumbling out of control all over again.
During the day, when the sun was shining, it was easy to put the fears of the night into the back of her mind. Easy to pretend that everything was as it should be. She looked for answers, but was faced with the daunting task of searching alone. There was no one she could trust. During the day she convinced herself that it was nothing more than bad dreams. But with the night, came the dreams…the voices…
She couldn’t talk to any of her friends at the base, he…they would find out that…find out what? That she was losing her mind? That she knew that Daniel had been compromised? That they all had been compromised? She had spent an entire afternoon sitting in Rinaldi’s, a local tavern, trying to drink enough to stop the voices. It hadn’t worked. She hadn’t even been able to get drunk.
But tonight…tonight was the worst yet. Images…smells…sounds. She had hoped that maybe, just maybe, she could find something, a clue, in his report. Something that would give her a hint as to whether she was going mad, or he was…changed. No longer her Daniel.
So here she sat in his office, reading half a dozen of his reports before she finally picked up…that one. She heard him calling to her, used every ounce of strength to refrain from answering him, fought to keep from caving in at the sound of hurt…worry… love that filled his voice, his thoughts.
She didn’t think that he would come looking for her. After the first night, when she told him she wanted to be left alone, he would do so, although the look in his blue eyes nearly killed her. But, if he could convince her that he didn’t love her in that throne room, wasn’t it just as likely that he could pretend…convince her, that he did?
She had found what she was looking for, in the anger, the wording of the report, somehow she knew that it was the truth. Every word told her that whatever was happening to her, he wasn’t a part of it. That he had returned to her, that the Fire still burned in him. That he still…had always…had never stopped…loving her. But the images, the voices, remained, taunting her. She didn’t want to look at them, listen to them.
Now he was here, wanting to know…needing to know what was going on. She let him take her hand, the touch of his skin against hers comforting. The darkness was still there, the images…like a motion picture…playing over and over in her head. She heard him gasp, felt his fingers tighten around hers.
She pulled her hand from his, opened her eyes. He was staring at her, his eyes as haunted as she knew hers must be.
"Babe, I swear to god, it was never like that! I told you the truth, Casey. Every word was the truth!"
She reached for him, blinded by the tears that filled her eyes, felt him pull her close, crush her against his chest. "I’m scared, Daniel, so scared! I don’t know who to believe, who to trust!"
He made a sound deep in his throat, a sound of pain, held her tight, buried his face against the soft skin of her throat.
"Daniel, your report…that’s what I needed. I’ve read enough of your reports to know if there was anything…different…or odd," she whispered.
"What did you find?" he asked, his voice choked.
"That you were madder than hell about me being kept in the dark about all of this. That you’re still…you…and still…mine…" her voice trailed off.
His arms tightened around her. "I love you, babe. Don’t you ever, ever doubt that again."
She tightened her arms around his neck. "What do we do? Daniel, something is going on, and I just don’t have the strength to deal with it." She was still too emotionally raw, too mentally exhausted to be able to deal with…this; whatever ‘this’ was.
He pushed the hair from her face. "I’m going to call Doctor Montigue. And I’m going to get the rest of the team in here. You’re right, something is going on." He looked at her for a minute, saw the relief in her eyes. "Babe, why didn’t you tell me this the other night?"
"I…well…I was…I was afraid of you. Afraid that if it was true, and you knew that I had found out…"The look in his eyes brought fresh tears to her own.
"Oh, Angel, what did they…we…do to you?" He started to stand up.
"No! Please, hold me! When you hold me they can’t bother me!" She cried softly, clinging to him, her tears falling harder, faster now.
"Shh…it’s okay, babe, I’m not going anywhere." He was able to push the intercom button on his phone. He called for any available guard to come to his office.
In less than a minute two Marines arrived, their hands on their weapons, prepared for the worst.
"I need for you to get MacLeod here, now. General O’Neill and Teal'c as well. Tell them we have an emergency. Get Doctor Montigue in here, too," Daniel said softly, firmly. The guards nodded, and left the room. He ran his hand up and down her back. She was trembling so hard she was shaking him. He wondered briefly if he would be able to change these dreams as he had the other nightmares that haunted her. He managed to sit down in his chair, keep her in his arms, and grab his phone. He called Erin, let her know what was going on. He had located Casey. But he was worried…scared…at what he found.
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