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Out of the Blue
"…I need you, oh I need you
And everyday I love you more and more
Without you (dreams and tears)
I know what it's all for
Suddenly I see you there
And everything's ok…"
"Out of the Blue"
by Debbie Gibson
Casey glanced around as she wandered the aisles of the drugstore. Hoped that she wouldn't run into anyone she knew. Certainly didn't want to see anyone who knew Daniel, and might tell him about seeing her here. Not that there was anything wrong with her shopping here. She'd done so before. Just not often…it was on the far side of town from the house. And never for what she was about to purchase. She never in a million years would have thought that she would have to buy one! Another nervous glance before she headed down…that…aisle.
She nearly jumped out of her skin. Turned around at the sound of the familiar voice. "Carly! God, you scared the crap out of me!"
"So I see. It was not my intention," the Spanish woman replied. She frowned slightly. "You are pale, my dear friend. What is wrong?"
Two weeks. For two weeks she'd waited. Fretted. Worried. She hadn't even talked to her mother, terrified that Emily might overhear, or worse yet, Daniel. Casey heaved a sigh. "I…uh …I need to get a pregnancy test."
Carly's dark eyes went wide. "I was not aware that you were taking the fertility injections."
"I wasn't…I'm not. I've never had an injection of the serum."
Her green eyes took on a look of panic. "I don't know! I have no idea how it happened! I mean, I know how it happened, I just don't understand how I could have gotten pregnant!"
The older woman frowned. "Are you sure that pregnancy is your problem?"
"I'm two weeks late, Carly. I'm never late…never! And Daniel is going to suspect soon, because he goes in for shots of the Hathor-gene serum when I'm on my period. So he knows the schedule as well as I do."
"Let us find one of these tests. We will go to my house and you will take it. Then we will see if there is a reason for the distress in your eyes."
Casey nodded gratefully. The two women read the packages carefully, decided on the First Response Pregnancy Test. Her fingers were shaking as she made the purchase.
"From your reaction I take it that Daniel will not be pleased?" Carly said as she paid for her own purchases.
"No, he won't. We discussed having another baby, and he said he couldn't deal with me going through pregnancy and delivery again."
"So what will you do?"
"I don't know," she answered softly. The question was one that Casey had been asking herself. She didn’t think that Daniel would expect her…ask her…to terminate the pregnancy. She wasn't totally certain that she could even if he did so. Deep down, in her heart of hearts, she had wanted another baby, at least one more. It had taken time for her to admit to that desire, but her outburst at the mall after Nicholas' first haircut had proven that the thought had been there all along, at least subconsciously.
"I'll see you in a few minutes," Carly said, crawling into the yellow Corvette that she had special ordered.
With a nod, Casey climbed into the Blazer. Hoped that Daniel wasn't home, to see her drive past the house. Or that her mother would notice that she had driven down the street before coming home. Her heart was hammering against her ribs. She couldn't be pregnant! There was no way! She hadn't taken the shots, and without the serum that prevented her Quickening from attacking the sperm that Daniel deposited on a twice daily basis, there was absolutely no way for fertilization to take place. Even as she tried to convince herself that she was worried for no good reason; that stress over the war with Penatil, and the fact that he had the NID notes for an inhuman experiment that put Hope's Immortal children at risk, was why she was two weeks past her period, she knew that she was pregnant. "It'll be a friggin' miracle," she muttered to herself as she maneuvered through the late afternoon traffic.
Fifteen minutes later she was standing in the bathroom in Carly's home, getting ready to pee on a narrow stick. The instructions were simple, she followed them carefully. Placed the wet stick on the paper towel Carly had provided. Started the timer that she had been given as well.
The Spanish woman put the kettle on to boil, knowing that a cup of tea was what the young blonde needed. She could tell that Casey was terrified. She'd never seen Casey afraid like this…afraid of Daniel. Or at least afraid of his anger. She suspected that Daniel wouldn't be as angry as Casey feared. But right now the young Immortal wouldn't believe that.
Casey paced the floor, waiting impatiently for the required fifteen minutes to pass. She pressed her hands together. How was she going to explain this to Daniel? She almost laughed out loud. She had to explain it to herself first. Immaculate Conception came to mind, but she didn't think that he'd find that as amusing as she did at the moment.
"Drink this, my dear," Carly said, holding out a mug of hot chamomile tea.
She took the mug, sipped at the steaming liquid. "Thank you," she said quietly. "For all of this."
When the timer went off, she sloshed a bit of the hot liquid onto her fingers, winced and licked them off. Stared at the bathroom door.
"Do you want me to look for you?" Carly asked gently.
Her eyes wide, Casey managed to shake her head. "I need to do this," she whispered. She put the mug on the kitchen counter. Walked toward the door with the same gait as a man walking to his death. She stared at the innocuous looking device. Grabbed the package and read the directions again. Moaned loudly. Two very distinct pink lines were visible.
"Oh, god, Carly…I’m pregnant!" Casey wrapped her arms around her waist. If things progressed they way they had with Emily and Nicholas, next week she'd start feeling sick every morning. She closed her eyes. Daniel was going to be furious! She wasn't even aware that there were tears on her face until she felt Carly gently wipe them away.
"I think you do not give Daniel enough credit. He will be surprised, to be sure. But if you are pregnant, without the aid of the fertility serum, then it is cause for rejoicing, not mourning," Carly said gently.
She shook her head. "I…I need some time to deal with this," she said softly. "Thank you so much for letting me do this here." Shaking fingers put the traitorous stick and the foil that had surrounded it back into the package. Which she then wrapped in the paper bag the pharmacist had placed it in.
"I understand. Do not take too long to tell Daniel," the Spanish woman warned.
"I suppose waiting until I go into labor would be pushing it then, right?"
Carly smiled. "I think by that time he might have noticed that your belly was a bit larger than normal. Having been through pregnancy with you twice before, it's safe to say he'd know that it wasn't from overeating."
Casey giggled. "True. I'll tell him. As soon as I have a little time to…come to terms with it."
"Do you want this baby, Casey?"
She looked into dark brown eyes. "With all my heart," she whispered.
"Then when you tell him you are with child, you will tell him that you want this baby. I think perhaps this baby wishes to be born as well," Carly said sagely.
"Maybe," Casey allowed. "I just have to figure out exactly how I was able to get pregnant without the benefit of the shots."
The older woman frowned. "That is something that you must discover," she agreed. "Think about what has happened in the past month or so, and you will find your answer." Carly hugged her young friend. "Tell him soon, Casey."
"I will. I promise."
A A A A A A
She'd driven out past the lake, near the spot where they'd come the night he'd saved her from the darkness that nearly drove her to madness…was sitting on the hood of the Blazer, watching the sun go down. She was blocking him, unwilling to allow him to sense…feel…her unease. She knew that doing so would definitely piss him off. He hated being blocked. Had told her that he needed the comfort of knowing she was 'there'. But he would start with the questions…where was she, what was wrong, why was she upset, why wasn't she home…and she had no answers for him…not yet.
Pregnant! Just how in the hell had that happened? Okay, true, since her return from PY2 498, they'd made love every morning and every night, the only exception being when she was riding the cotton pony. And Saturday nights were still normally their 'marathon love making' nights. But…she was Immortal. Pregnancy didn't just…happen. Not without injections of the serum created using the blood samples taken when she and Sam had been pregnant the first time. That magic potion that inhibited an Immortal woman's Quickening long enough for the miracle of life to happen.
"I can't do it, Casey. As wonderful as the rest of it is, I can't do it."
She shivered as his words echoed in her ears. He was not going to take this well. Not well at all. And now, knowing for certain that she was pregnant, there was no way that she could…she just couldn't.
A A A A A A
Daniel frowned as he tried yet again to 'touch' her. She had 'disappeared' an hour earlier. They hadn't fought, so she wasn't angry, at least, not that he knew of. He'd been surprised to come home to find Erin watching the kids. Casey had taken the afternoon off, he'd assumed she was baking cookies…she did that occasionally. His mother-in-law was just as puzzled as he. The thought that she was having an affair flickered through his mind. He pushed it away. Not very likely, he thought, considering she's with me all the time…
Oh, hell. It had finally happened. She'd finally reached the point where she couldn't take it. He had kept her at his side since her return from PY2 498 out of sheer necessity. He needed to be near her, to be able to see her, touch her, know that she was real and alive and home. His…lust…had been insatiable. The first thing he did every morning, as soon as his eyes were open, was to make love to her. The last thing he did at night, before surrendering to sleep, was to make love to her. At least three times a week he was calling her to meet him in the supply closet. She'd finally had enough of his…clinging. That many mornings he opened his eyes to find her touching him, caressing him, making love to him, her need evident in her eyes; or the nights that she could barely wait for him to settle onto the bed beside her before she was reaching for him; and that she called him just as often, wanting to 'play' in conference room, evaded his memory.
It was terrifying, not knowing where she was. He paced the length of the Great Room…from the living room through the dining room to the conversation room, and back again. Looked at the phone. Finally gave in. Grabbed it up and dialed. "Sam?… yeah, it's me. Um…have you talked to Casey today?…No reason, well, not exactly…No, nothing like that…I don't know. That's what I was hoping you could tell me…She didn't?…Okay, yeah, I'll tell her, as soon as I see her…Yeah, thanks. Bye."
More pacing. Erin had fed the kids earlier. He was starting to feel a bit hungry. He warmed up the leftover casserole…chicken enchiladas, it looked like. Tried to eat. Made coffee. It wasn't hers. Casey made the best coffee he'd ever tasted.
He sat on the deck, watching the sun slowly sink behind the mountains that surrounded Hope. Reaching for her. Missing her. Scared to death that his…need…had finally driven her away. How in god's name was he supposed to exist without her?
A A A A A A
Emily and Nicholas were both subdued during bath time. Snuggle time was quiet as well, there was no giggling and singing silly songs…Casey always sang silly songs with them before they settled down for the story that he read, and then she sang them to sleep.
"Daddy, where Mommy is?" Emily asked, her blue eyes wide with worry.
He frowned. "Mommy had something…important…to take care of," he replied. Hoping like hell that whatever was wrong could be worked through…worked out…that she hadn't decided that she couldn't take his constant hovering…didn't want to be with him at all.
"Mommy come home?" Nicholas asked.
"Of course she'll be home," he replied, forcing a weak smile for the benefit of his…their…children. Oh, god, please let her come home!
He tucked his children into their beds, kissed their blonde heads. Wished them sweet dreams. Stalked to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of Southern Comfort. And tried to force down the memories of those cold, empty nights without her.
A A A A A A
The house was dark when she finally came home. She had been so wrapped up in her thoughts, so confused and worried and…frightened…that the time had passed without her even realizing it. To know that she had missed snuggle time, that her children had been put to bed without her, added guilt to the already overwhelming deluge of emotions that were raging in her.
She opened the door quietly. Looped her purse strap over the back of one of the barstools. Put her keys on the counter. Jumped when the light went on above her.
Daniel was standing in the doorway. "Where have you been?"
He'd been drinking. She saw the bottle was on the counter, and she could smell it on him. And, if she wasn't mistaken, from the look of his eyes, he'd shed a few tears as well. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.
"Where have you been?" he repeated. Wished his voice wasn't shaking. That his body wasn't shaking. That he didn't feel as if his entire world was about to crash down around his ears.
"I…I was out…I drove out to where…when I had that nightmare, and I…and you…and the darkness…" she stammered.
Oh, god, what now? he wondered, his heart pounding all the harder. "What's going on, Casey?"
Tears slid down her cheeks. "I…oh, god, Daniel, I don't know how to tell you this."
A rusty knife cutting out his heart would feel exactly like this, he thought numbly. "Just tell me. Get it out and over with."
She was trembling. He was already angry with her, had every right to be angry. She'd been inconsiderate…selfish. Her own fears had sent her running in search of safety. "I'm so afraid you're going to be angry…no, I know you're going to be angry," she said softly.
Yeah, well, having his wife leave him tends to piss a guy off, he thought. "Just tell me."
More than anything in the world she wanted to feel his arms around her, holding her. She was safe in his arms. Nothing could hurt her, nothing could harm them, when she was in his arms. She stepped closer to him. "Hold me? Please?"
He reached for her, pulled her close. Breathed deeply of her sweet scent. Felt her trembling in his arms, felt her clinging to him. "Tell me, Casey. Let's get it over with," he repeated hoarsely.
She pulled far enough away to look up at him. "I have no idea how it happened."
So far, so bad, he thought glumly. In spite of the fact that they were together all of the time, it seemed that maybe she had managed to find someone else. Someone who wasn't so damned needy, so damned demanding.
When he said nothing, she took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."
There it is. Out in the open. She's pregnant. It took several more seconds for the words to actually register in his brain. "You're what?"
"How in the hell did that happen?" He pulled away from her, paced around the island. Pregnant? There was only one way that could have happened…"Goddamn it, Casey Renee! You've been taking those injections without talking to me? Casey, how could you? You know how I feel-"
"I didn't have any injections" she said, her voice shaking. She'd known he was going to be angry. Facing that anger was even more difficult than she'd feared.
"Obviously you did," he shot back.
Anger flared in her eyes. "Feel free to talk to Doctor Montigue. I assure you, Daniel, I was not taking the injections! How could I do anything without you knowing about it? You're always right there! You don't allow me out of your sight!" She cringed. That had never bothered her. It didn't bother her. In fact, it made her feel special, as if she were something precious that he treasured.
He stopped pacing. Stared at her. Well, now he knew, didn't he? She did resent the fact that he was so damned needy!
Casey hurried to his side. Wreathed his face with her hands, forced him to look at her, locked her gaze with his. "I love the fact that you want me at your side. That you love me enough to…to…"
"To smother you?" he spat. Time for him to back away. To put some distance between them. To let her go. No matter how damned much it hurt. No matter how damned much he needed her.
"No, never!" she replied. "You make me feel…treasured…cherished…I love that feeling!" His need had been no greater than her own, and his insistence that she be at his side had afforded her the comfort of knowing that she was safe…protected. She saw the look of cold determination in his eyes…felt him moving away from her. She needed the security of his…obsession...as much as she needed to be near him. "Please, oh god, please don't take it away from me!" she begged.
The look of fear, of panic in her green eyes broke through the anger, his own fear. He pulled her close. "Never, Angel. I need you so damned much," he whispered.
She locked her arms around his neck, pressed her face against his neck. "I need you," she whispered in return.
Daniel scooped her into his arms. Carried her to the bedroom. Once she was on the bed, he took the time to close and lock the door. He stretched out beside her. Couldn't stop his hand from moving to that flat belly. Where his baby was growing. "How?"
The tears began to fall again. "I don't know! I've spent the afternoon wracking my brain trying to figure it out!"
He frowned. "How do you know you're pregnant?"
She blushed. "I…I'm two weeks late."
Okay, that usually didn't happen. He reached out and gently wiped her tears away. Caressed her cheek. "Stress?"
"I was hoping. I…I went to Walgreens…to buy a pregnancy test. Carly was there…and I did it at her house…"
"Two pink lines. Two very solid, very pink lines," she said.
"I take it that means positive?"
She nodded. "I just don't know how it happened!"
He couldn't help but grin. "I must be doing something wrong, then. We make love at least twice a day, and you don't know how you got pregnant?"
She giggled. And she was certain that had been his intention. "Smartass! I know how…just not…how."
He chuckled. "Only Immortals could have this conversation."
Another giggle. "True."
His eyes became serious. "You really didn't have the shots?"
"I really didn't have the shots," she replied. "And you know I would have discussed it with you first!"
She was becoming prickly about the issue. Okay, she hadn’t received the injections. "Any ideas?"
"None. I'm assuming that something had to have happened…like when Oma changed my Quickening before she left the company of the Ascended."
He nodded. "I agree. But I don't remember anything like that happening."
"Me, either. We've been too busy fighting with freaking Goa'uld, and taking on Evil, and dealing with conspiracies…" She shook her head. "I was going to suggest Immaculate Conception, but I'm fairly certain you're the father."
He stared at her. Felt a shiver move over him, and a cold hand close around his heart. Not at all sure he liked where his thoughts were suddenly headed. "No strange dreams lately?"
She shivered. Her dreams had a way of being all too real sometimes. "Not that I remember."
"Do you have any idea how soon a paternity test can be done?"
Ice water. His words were like ice water down her spine. That he could even suggest that he wasn't the father…that she could …"I have no idea," she responded coldly. "I'm sure Doctor Montigue can answer that question for you."
Oh, hell. He'd done it now! There was more hurt in those beautiful green eyes than anger, but the anger was definitely there. "That didn't come out the way I meant it," he said softly.
"Really? I fail to see any other way to ask that question," she replied. She pulled away from him.
"Case, try to be objective here. Considering your…parentage, and your…ability to travel the astral plane, it is possible that…something …happened."
"I think I'd remember if I had been impregnated by someone…or something…other than my Husband!" she huffed.
"Maybe not," he said softly. "You have no memory of what the Oannes did to you." He firmly pushed away the knowledge that those creatures had intentionally erased her memory, and Teal'c's, of their time spent as…prisoners?…experiments?
She hated to admit it, but he had a legitimate point. The thought that the baby she carried had been fathered by…someone…else, repulsed her. But oh, god, she wanted this baby! She wanted it to be Daniel's…was certain that it was his. She would surely remember any dreams that could have resulted in pregnancy! "I'll talk to Doctor Montigue first thing in the morning," she whispered.
He pulled her close, felt her snuggle against his side.
"I don't think this is something you did on purpose," he acknowledged, still reeling from the news.
"I won't lie to you and tell you I'm not happy about it," she told him. "As long as it's yours, I mean."
He smiled, kissed her forehead. "I know, Angel."
"Do you…am I still…are you still…"
Daniel rolled to his side. "Needy as ever, Case. Will you let me love you?" he asked softly.
Her hands caressed his face. "Oh, yes," she breathed. "I need you, too."
In ten and a half years the passion had never faded. Had never been anything other than incredible. That night wasn't any different as they held one another, took each other to that special, beautiful place that they could only find together, locked in each other's arms.
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