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If Not for Love

Chapter 3

He moaned, opened his eyes, squinting at the light that filtered into the small room. He looked up into beautiful green eyes. Tears stood in them, but he could still see the love that reflected so deeply. "Hey, gorgeous," he said softly.

"Hey, handsome," she replied.

"Did I just…were you…?"

"Yes, my love. You touched that stone…when are you going to learn to stop touching alien stuff?"

He smiled.

"Anyway, you’ve been unconscious for almost two hours. We were going to try and get you back through the gate, but you had a bad seizure when we tried to move you from here."

"I was dreaming…"

"I know," she said softly. She raised his hand to her lips. "I was there."

"Yeah, you were." He put an arm behind her head, drew her down for a kiss. "Thanks, Angel," he whispered.

"Anytime," she replied.

"I think now maybe I can quit worrying that I’m dreaming you."

"Daniel, it’s all right to be happy. You deserve it as much as anybody else. Maybe even more so, considering all that you’ve been through."

"Love you, Angel," he whispered.

"Love you too, sweetheart."

"Hey, I thought I heard voices in here," Jack said, standing at the front of the temple, a grin on his face.

"Hey, Jack," Daniel said.

"Daniel, if you don’t stop touching stuff you don’t know anything about-" Jack broke off and shook his head. "You had us worried, Space Monkey," he said softly.

"Sorry," Daniel replied.

"If it’s all the same to you two, I’d like to go home now. My butt is numb from sitting here like this," Casey complained good-naturedly.

Daniel sat up. He pulled her into his embrace. "I’d have been lost there, thinking my life with you wasn’t real, if you hadn’t come after me," he said softly.

"I love you…need you…too much to let you slip away from me," she whispered.

"If not for your love, I’d be lost, babe," he told her. He lowered his head, claimed her lips with his own.

"I’d be lost without your love as well," she said, when he finally moved his mouth from hers.

"Let’s go home." He stood to his feet, helped her to stand. They walked arm and arm into the fading light.

Jack, Sam and Teal'c fell into step beside them, the silence between them companionable and comfortable.


A  A  A  A  A  A


He rolled over, stretched out his hand. Felt her laying beside him. Pulled her closer to his body. She snuggled back against him. He put his fingers on the tattoo above her heart. He could feel her chest rise and fall with each soft breath. Her warm skin was setting fire to his, the heat coursing through his body. He moved his hand to her breast, felt the nipple harden against his palm as he caressed the soft, firm flesh. His mouth found her neck…his tongue and lips and teeth began to taste and nibble. She murmured softly in her sleep.

His hand moved from her breast, down her ribs, over her flat belly. He let his fingers play through the soft curls he found at the apex of her thighs, then slid them farther. He made her wet and hot and ready for him. He gently rolled her to her back, his mouth still on her neck. He used his knee to spread her legs enough for him to gain entrance. He raised himself over her, his heart pounding. He loved her so very much! Slowly, so very slowly, he entered her, his engorged shaft aching from the touch of her warm, wet well as it surrounded him. His hips began to move, not much, but enough.

Her eyes were open now, she was looking up at him, a sleepy smile on her face. She never said a word as her hands moved up his chest, over his shoulders, to his back. She pulled gently, until he was leaning on his forearms, his chest against hers. He captured her lips in a kiss, felt her suck at his lower lip. The sensation shot from his lip to his groin, making him throb harder. She was using her muscles now, gripping him, massaging him. He could feel his orgasm building. No, too soon. Had to make her feel good first. He lifted his hips enough to get one hand between them, shifting his body to the side to do so. The movement resulted in him pulling part way out of her body. That was okay, he needed to back off, needed to come back down a little bit. His fingers worked gently at the top of her folds, caressing that hard, swollen nub until she was panting.

"Oh…oh god…oh, Daniel…" she whispered, her eyes closed, her body arching toward him. The whimper had started, her thighs were quivering.

"Come for me Angel," he whispered. He shifted over her, slid deep into her, pushed and rubbed his hips against hers. "Give it to me babe," he whispered again.

She cried out, her body convulsing around his, her hips pushing up against him. "Now, Daniel, fill me with your love…let me feel you throb!"

He moaned and began to move in and out of her; faster, harder, deeper. Her hands were kneading his shoulders, her thighs locked against his sides, her hips meeting his thrust for thrust. He cried out, his soul taking flight, as his body became nothing more than nerve endings and intense sensations of pleasure.

He collapsed on top of her, breathing hard. Her arms went around him and held him close. He rolled them over, pulled her tightly against him. His hand roamed over her back, the satiny feel of her skin making his entire arm tingle. Her hands were moving up and down his arms, the gentle touch welcome…relaxing…comforting. For the first time there was no fear, no terrifying thoughts skittering across his mind. He pulled her tighter; grateful that she had been there to save him from the darkness that had nearly overcome him.

"Are you all right, Daniel?"

He kissed the side of her head. "I’m fine, babe."

She was quiet for a few minutes. "You never told me how pretty Janet Fraiser is…was."

"Yeah, she was. Very sweet woman."

"Did you ever have…feelings…for her?"

He was quiet for several moments. "We were good friends. I don’t think it would have ever been more."

She smiled. "That’s not what I asked."

"Angel, I never let myself have…those kind…of feelings for her."

Casey turned this over in her mind. She remembered his behavior when they first met, the shy smiles, the way she would catch him looking at her, the way he blushed when he knew she had caught him staring. The way he would move to stand near her, then nearly run to the other side of the room as if he couldn’t put enough distance between them. The way he would jump if she touched him, as if he wanted to run away, yet his eyes told her that he wanted to stay beside her all at the same time. "You didn’t want to let yourself have feelings for me, either, did you?"

The question caught him off guard. He shook his head slowly. "No, I didn’t. I was terrified that if I loved you, something horrible would happen to you."

She raised up, looked at him. "You’ve suffered so much," she said softly. "Losing Sha’re wounded your soul, didn’t it, my love?"

He lowered his eyes, didn’t answer.

"You must have loved Sha’re very much," she continued.

"Yes, I did. But it was…different…than what I feel for you, with you."

"That’s only to be expected," she replied. "We’re two different women."

"She…making love with her was…we never did the things that you and I do…it was different...more…innocent, I guess. I didn’t rush into a physical relationship with her."

Casey stiffened. "And you rushed into one with me?"

He cursed himself mentally. "That didn’t come out right, babe. Sha’re was given to me, by her father and the other elders of the tribe. I didn’t want to…take advantage of that."

"I understand," she said. And she did. It was typical of Daniel to be so considerate, so thoughtful.

"With you, from the first time I looked into your green eyes…I wanted you so badly I ached. Not just for the sex, either…there was…something…that drew me to you. The first time I kissed you…it was like…"

"Coming home," she said softly, her own memories of that day filling her mind.

"Yes! Exactly like that! As if I’d finally found what I had been looking for, what I hadn't even known I was looking for. I never wanted to get close to another woman…I loved Sha’re, she was taken over by the Goa’uld. I met back up with Sarah, she was taken over by the Goa’uld. I guess I was beginning to think I was cursed or something. I tried to fight what I was feeling for you…but I couldn’t. After I kissed you, I didn’t want to."

She snuggled into his embrace. "Love you, Daniel Jackson."

His arms tightened around her. "Love you, Casey Jackson."

They could hear Emily beginning to stir in her room. Casey started to move off of him.

"Sha’re came to me when you were pregnant," he said softly.

Again her body stiffened, her heart began to pound.

"She told me that you're my Destiny, that you always had been."

Casey looked up into his blue eyes.

"I think I knew that the minute you dropped into my arms."

She smiled, kissed him, then crawled off of him. She grabbed her robe and went to tend to their daughter.

He laid there for just a minute longer, sorting through the feelings that had been disturbed. His love for Sha’re was tucked safely away, the memories precious and sweet. Casey filled his entire being. She soothed away the hurts, the fears - filled that hole that had been so long in his soul. He listened to her talking to the baby, smiled. He wasn’t afraid any more. She was real. This incredible, wonderful life was real. He stretched, got out of bed and pulled on his sweats. He needed a cup of coffee. He headed for the kitchen, his heart, his mind…his soul, at peace.


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