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Hell is for Children
Casey dropped onto the sofa, pulled her legs up, wrapped her arms around them. Daniel watched her, his hands shoved into the pockets of his Dockers.
"Part of me understands. Part of me feels so guilty, so angry," she whispered.
"I know." He sat down beside her. "All I knew was that I had to protect you, no matter the cost."
She put her cheek against her knee, turned her face to look at him. "That cost nearly undid all of us."
"Are you all right?"
She smiled. It wasn't as bright as usual, he noted. "I'll get there. Are you all right?"
"I will be," he replied. He put his arm around her, tugged until she was leaning against him, her head on his shoulder. His stomach began to growl. When was the last time they'd eaten? "How about ordering some Chinese?"
"I'm not hungry."
"Casey, you haven't eaten anything since yesterday." A meal of energy bars, forced down after Jack made it an order that they eat.
She shook her head. "I don't think I could eat anything."
"I'll order you some chicken wonton soup."
She sighed. "All right."
He picked up the phone, then continued to hold her close while he ordered a meal for them. They sat in silence, clinging to one another, until the doorbell announced the arrival of their food. While Casey started a pot of coffee, he turned on the TV, found a movie that appeared to be a campy comedy.
She managed to eat the soup, hungrier than she'd realized. Daniel eagerly shared his moo goo gai pan with her, and he'd ordered two egg rolls, hoping that she'd eat one. She ate part of one, and that was good enough for him. An hour later she was in the bathroom, throwing it all back up. She'd started shivering again, and Daniel insisted on tucking her into bed.
"Please, don't leave me alone," she whispered.
He stripped and crawled into the bed beside her. "I'm here, Case. Right here," he whispered, pulling her close.
Every time she closed her eyes, she could see the merciless rapes, the beatings, the senseless brutality. She could still hear the screams; the terrified, pain-filled shrieks. She put her hands over her ears, willing the sounds to stop and go away.
Daniel was finding it no easier to sleep. He railed against the images, the sounds of the attacks. But worse for him was the memory of fevered green eyes - full of pain, wracked with guilt - that danced in front of him; images of her holding, cuddling the lifeless body of that little girl, rocking and singing softly.
Casey pulled herself from the bed, her body felt as heavy as lead. She barely made it to the toilet before she was heaving again.
Daniel had followed her, understanding what was wrong. He held her long hair out of the way, gently rubbed her back. When she began to vomit blood, his heart nearly stopped beating. Janet's warning echoed in his head. "Let's get dressed, Case," he said softly.
"I’m taking you to the infirmary." He noted, with not a little concern, that she didn't even make a token protest. He watched her brush her teeth, could see her hands shaking as she tried to brush her hair. Daniel gently took the brush from her hand, worked it through that long silk. "Okay, honey, let's get dressed," he said, keeping his voice soft, calm.
She nodded, followed him to the closet to find jeans and a shirt. She pulled on the sweatshirt, not even bothering with a bra. Her fingers fumbled with the snap on her Levi's. She looked up into worried blue eyes. Watched as his long, slender fingers carefully snapped and zipped her pants. "Wow, you normally do that in reverse," she managed to say.
He smiled. "Later," he replied, the word a promise to both of them.
A A A A A A
Dr. Warner was on duty when Daniel carried Casey into the dimly lit infirmary. She was shaking so badly that he was finding it difficult to hang on to her, walking not even an option for her at that point.
The doctor, who'd been working at the computer on the desk in front of him, jumped to his feet. "What's wrong?"
"She's vomiting blood, and she can't seem to stop shaking," Daniel replied. He followed the doctor to the nearest bed, gently laid his wife on top of it.
"Let's take a look," he said quietly. He gently pressed against Casey's stomach, noted how she flinched and tried to pull away from his probing fingers. "Does that hurt?"
"A-a l-l-little b-bit," Casey admitted through chattering teeth.
A nurse had appeared at the doctor's side. He gave quiet instructions, then turned again to the young blonde. "I'm going to take some blood, and then we'll get you hooked up to an IV. Doctor Fraiser has you on Ranitidine, doesn't she?"
Casey managed to nod.
"I'd like to do an MRI, and see just what's going on in there," the doctor said. He was checking her neck with his hands, searching for any swelling that might indicate other problems. He flashed his pen light in her eyes as well, noting the responses.
Daniel stood watching, his arms wrapped around his chest, feeling utterly helpless. He was worried, that was stamped clearly on his handsome features. The stress of the past two days was weighing heavily upon all of the members of SG-1, and was making his Wife physically ill. Once again came the thought that maybe he'd just stop going on missions, not allow her to go either. She could still 'look' for all of the planned missions, make sure that the teams were fully aware of any dangers that might be lurking. He'd be busy for years to come with all the artifacts that came through the 'gate on an almost daily basis. He continued to examine this idea as Casey was given a sedative.
When the tremors had stopped, allowing the MRI to be performed, Dr. Warner ordered that the young woman be taken to the imaging room. When as he was about to call for a gurney to be brought in, Daniel gathered Casey into his arms, carried her down the hallway. The doctor smiled. He'd heard talk around the base, about how in love Dr. Jackson was with the young blonde who'd suddenly appeared in his life. He followed the archaeologist.
She rolled her eyes, trying to focus on what was happening around her. She looked up, saw the concern in those incredible blue eyes. Tried to raise her hand to touch his cheek.
He smiled when he realized what she was trying to do, captured her fingers, pressed them against his face, then gently kissed them. "Lay still, Angel. Let them get a look at you."
She nodded her understanding, let her eyes flutter shut.
"Has she been eating anything spicy?" Dr. Warner asked as he watched each layer of Casey's body being examined.
"No. We…uh…for the past two days she…none of us…really ate much of anything," Daniel admitted.
"Has she been taking her medicine?"
"Not for the past two days."
The doctor nodded. "Well, the ulcer is small, but it's definitely bleeding. I’m going to give her something that will coat her stomach, should stop the bleeding, and ease the discomfort."
An hour later Casey was sleeping soundly, sedated once again. Daniel shook his head. She'd spent a hell of a lot of time here, since her arrival at the SGC. Hopefully this would be the last time for awhile. He wandered down to his lab, intent on working on several translations that needed to be finished. There was absolutely no way that he was leaving the base, and sleep was totally out of the question.
A A A A A A
He wasn't surprised to see Sam sitting in the commissary, staring into a cup of coffee when he went down for the same thing nearly two hours later. "Sam?"
"Daniel, what are you doing here?" Concern flooded deep blue eyes. "Casey?"
"Her ulcer. From not eating, not taking her meds, the stress of…of the mission," he said softly. He sat down across from his best friend, sipped at the hot coffee. "You?"
"I…couldn't sleep. So I decided to try and get some work done," she said.
Sam shook her head. "I can't seem to concentrate. All I can see is-" she broke off, shuddered slightly.
"Yeah," he replied. "I'd hoped to get some translations finished up." He shook his head.
Teal'c entered the room, glanced around, joined his friends as soon as he had a cup of hot tea. "I was unaware that either of you were on base," he said softly.
"Case started throwing up blood," Daniel said. "Doctor Warner has her sedated. Thank god she's getting some sleep."
"I guess I should get back down to my lab," Sam said, toying with her cup. Not moving.
The three friends sat together, words unnecessary, and took comfort from one another's presence.
A A A A A A
Janet hurried into the infirmary, running a few minutes late thanks to an argument with Cassie about her plans for after school. She didn't want her daughter hanging around a pool hall, even if it was where 'the band' was practicing. Though she'd adamantly forbidden the girl from going, she was pretty sure that if Cassie was late getting home, that would be where to find her. She came to an abrupt halt when she saw Casey Jackson lying in the very first infirmary bed. She raced to the foot of the bed, grabbed the metal covered file that gave the current care instructions.
"Doctor Jackson brought her in around midnight," Dr. Warner said, coming up behind his colleague.
"She was vomiting blood?"
"Yes. The ulcer was bleeding. Just before she was completely sedated she was ill again. Several cc's of blood," the tall, white haired doctor replied.
"Was she able to keep the Pepto down?"
Janet nodded. "Well, her temp is normal, that's a good sign. I'm sure that what SG-1 just went through is the reason for this."
Dr. Warner nodded. He was well aware of what the flagship team had endured. It had been written into their medical records while they'd slept under strong sedation after returning from the planet where they'd suffered so greatly. He shook his head mentally. That any of the teams were sane and healthy, considering what they did, what they saw…what they endured, was nothing short of a miracle, he thought.
"I'll take over from here," Janet smiled. "Anything else I should know about?"
The pass-down given, Dr. Warner grabbed his coat, waved goodbye, and made his way to the elevator. He was going to have a nice stiff drink before he went to bed. Reading the mission report given by SG-1, an attempt to understand what his patient had suffered through, so that he might better help her, had left him shaken. Yep, a nice stiff drink was what he needed.
A A A A A A
Daniel jerked awake. He hadn't even been aware of falling asleep. He stretched, his back screaming at him for sleeping hunched over the worktable. He'd sat with Sam and Teal'c for nearly two hours before finally returning to try and work. A check on Casey on his way back up to his lab had found her sleeping soundly. The nurse had informed him that just before she'd succumbed completely to the sedation, she'd been ill again. He cursed himself for leaving her side. He should have been there! He'd left when she'd seemed to be asleep. Knowing that she'd been given a light sedative, he was sure that she wouldn't wake up for awhile. The nurse had insisted that Casey wasn't even fully conscious, or aware of what was going on around her. He was certain the lieutenant was just trying to be kind. He ran his hands over his face, stood and stretched one more time, then hurried to the elevator.
Casey opened her eyes. Gray walls. Gray ceiling. Oh, great, the infirmary…again! She remembered being ill, Daniel bringing her in, being so cold and the tremors that shook her from head to foot.
"We have got to quit meeting like this," a soft voice said.
She grinned. "Yeah, but I figure if I keep coming in here and making a fuss, you'll eventually take my advice and hire a decorator for this place."
Janet giggled. "You sound good. How do you feel?"
"A little hungry. My hand hurts. I think taking the IV out would take care of that," Casey replied.
"Uh huh. Nice try. When that bag is empty, I'll take it out," Janet replied.
Daniel walked into the room. Felt the weight of the world lift off of his shoulders when she looked at him and smiled. "Good morning, Angel," he said softly.
"'Morning," she replied. "If we have today off, why are we here?"
He grinned. "As soon as Janet says you can leave, we'll go home, I promise."
"Another hour," Janet replied. Her practiced eye was taking in Daniel's appearance. He looked tired, but otherwise seemed okay. The concern that had filled those blue eyes when he walked through the door had disappeared the instant Casey had smiled at him.
Daniel perched on the side of the bed. "How do you feel?"
"Hungry. I could use a cup of coffee."
"No coffee. Not for a couple of days," Janet said firmly.
"That is just inhuman!" Casey objected.
"But you be sure to drink that protein shake as soon as you get home." Her grin matched the sparkle in her brown eyes.
Green eyes narrowed slightly. "You are just mean!"
Janet gave in to the desire and laughed. "Yep." She turned around and walked back to her desk, her heels clicking on the tile floor.
Daniel reached out, brushed her hair over her shoulder, let his hand linger on her cheek. "Are you all right?"
Casey nodded. "I think getting some sleep helped. I…I know I had some nightmares. But…" she lowered her eyes.
"But?" he asked softly.
"Miss Eloise…well…she sort of…sometimes…" she shook her head. It was hard enough to admit to herself that the old seer visited in her dreams. Saying it out loud would make her sound like a raving lunatic!
Daniel watched her eyes. "Miss Eloise what, Angel?"
Green eyes sought, locked onto blue ones. Begged for understanding. "Sometimes when I dream, she…visits me."
He smiled. "I'm not surprised. You're a strong seer, and from what you've told me, so was Miss Eloise. Just because she's not here, on this plane of existence, doesn't mean she's gone. I'm not surprised that she's watching out for you."
She should have known that he'd understand! She should have known that he'd be so supportive, she thought. She sighed. "I love you."
His smile widened. "I love you, too."
"Miss Eloise told me that what…happened…was something that none of us could have changed. We weren't supposed to be there. The Jaffa arrived…early. That's why I couldn't really see them."
"I'm so sorry you had to…endure…that," he said softly.
"As sorry as I am that you had to suffer as well," she replied, just as softly. "It wasn't easy for any of us. Jack suffers deeply, because he was the one who had to give the order to stay hidden. Teal'c and Sam suffered because they wanted to stop…what was happening…as much as you or I…or Jack did."
"We'll get past this," Daniel said.
"I know. How are you feeling?"
He smiled again. "A little tired. A bit hungry. A lot needy."
She giggled. "Well, we'll take care of all of that as soon as I'm released."
He glanced up at the IV bag. "Shouldn't be much longer now," he replied. "We'll stop and have breakfast at IHOP."
"Call the team, they need to eat as well," Casey said. "We can…talk. We need to do that."
Daniel nodded. "I'll take care of that right now. I'll be back in a few minutes."
She heaved a dramatic sigh. "I'll be here. Right here. My butt getting ever number from this bed."
He chuckled, leaned over and kissed her lightly. Felt the electricity dance through him. Felt her take comfort from his touch, and felt the love she sent so gently. His heart was racing when he finally forced himself to pull away from her sweet lips.
"I'll take care of that need, Daniel, I promise," she whispered at the sight of the desire that filled his blue eyes.
"I'll hold you to that, Mrs. Jackson," he smiled. "I'll be right back." He stood, dropped a kiss on her forehead, waved at Janet, and went to find Sam and Teal'c.
A A A A A A
Jack met the rest of the team at IHOP. His haggard features were evidence of the sleepless night he'd spent. Daniel had filled him in on what had happened during the phone call to let him know about breakfast. His eyes went over every one of his team carefully, examining each face, making sure that they were all right.
As soon as the waitress had left with their orders, Casey looked around. "I know that General Hammond has ordered us to see Doctor MacKenzie tomorrow. And I know that you and Daniel aren't too excited about it," she said, reaching for Jack's hand.
"He'll just try to poke around in our heads," Jack grumbled, his fingers closing for a few minutes around her soft, slender hand.
"That's what psychiatrists do," Casey replied, a small smile on her face.
"Yeah, well they can do it to someone else."
"You're afraid that he's going to recommend that SG-1 not be sent on any missions, not until he's cleared us," Casey continued.
Jack studied her. "That's the way it always goes."
"We are battered, Jack. Our hearts, our minds…we did suffer. But I have an idea. Part from Teal'c, part from…" she broke off, glanced at Daniel. "Part from the woman who is my…guide."
"Let's hear it," the older man sighed.
"Teal'c, you meditate, I understand you have to kel'no'reem. But you also just…meditate, right?"
The large man nodded.
"You have to trust me," Casey said, looking around at her friends. "All of you."
Glances were exchanged. "What do you want us to do?" Sam asked.
The young blonde smiled. "We're going to eat breakfast. And then with Teal'c's permission, we're going to his quarters."
The Jaffa nodded. He was beginning to understand. His room was small enough that the five of them would be in very close proximity to one another. The dozens of candles would create the needed…ambiance. "It will be as you wish."
Frowns flittered over three faces. But there were no objections. Breakfasts were picked over, little was actually eaten, and it was done with a minimum of conversation, the wounds on their souls too raw to allow for the usual carefree banter.
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